Guy unloading semi #1: Man, this shit sucks!
Guy unloading semi #2: Yeah.
Guy unloading semi #1: Fuck this guy! You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna complain!
Guy unloading semi #2: Yeah.
–38th & 8th
Overheard by: Ari
Guy unloading semi #1: Man, this shit sucks!
Guy unloading semi #2: Yeah.
Guy unloading semi #1: Fuck this guy! You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna complain!
Guy unloading semi #2: Yeah.
–38th & 8th
Overheard by: Ari
Woman #1: So, she had half her lung removed.
Woman #2: Does she talk funny now?
Woman #1, confused: Why would she talk funny?
Woman #2: Don't you breathe through your lungs?
Woman #1: You are a moron.
–34th & 7th
20-something redhead to friend, while texting: Wait… Maryland is down, and New York is up, right? I mean map-wise.
Friend: What the fuck?
20-something redhead, no longer texting: I had so much fun tonight. Can we do this again… lately?
Friend: Uhhh, do you mean “soon”?
20-something redhead: Yeah. Soon, lately, you know what I mean.
–Windsor Court, Murray Hill
Bimbo #1 with yoga mat: Have you ever done the two-hour boot camp workout thing?
Bimbo #2 with yoga mat: No, but I hear it's as bad as being in a contraception camp.
–72nd & Columbus
Should-be-blonde girl: So this guy was 100% Italian.
Guy: You mean he was born there?
Should-be-blonde girl: No, but he's been there before.
–Luigi's Pizza Parlor
Latino grade school girl #1: Yeah man, and then they act like they don't know when we be hating, cause they gotta act like that, and then they say we be racist and we ain't racist, you're just a dumb white bitch.
Latino grade school girl #2: Yeah, and then they say we racist.
Latino grade school girl #1: She just don't wanna say nothing to me die-reckt-ly cause she knows she'll get hurt.
Latino grade school girl #2: Say it to my face!
Latino grade school girl #1: Yeah, that's what I say, say it to my face! She just chicken.
Latino grade school girl #2: Yeah, she just chicken.
Latino grade school girl #1: Ha ha! Chicken head!
Latino grade school girl #2: Haha, yeaaaaaah girl, chicken head! Quack quack!
–Old Navy Dressing Room, 6th Ave
Overheard by: NoChildLeftBehindDoesntWork
Philly girl #1, pointing to picture: Hey! My dad once punched that guy in the face!
Philly girl #2: Benjamin Netanyahu?
Philly girl #1: Yeah.
Philly girl #2: Wait… isn't he from Israel?
Philly girl #1: Nope. He went to Cheltenham high school, same as my dad.
Philly girl #2: What happened?
Philly girl #1: My dad said, “if you poke me one more time, I'm gonna punch you in the face.”
Philly girl #2: (silence)
Philly girl #1: He poked him.
–M60 Bus
Obviously inebriated brunette: So… I'm pretty sure I'm going to die tonight.
Obviously inebriated blonde: Well, if we do, I think I should put up a Facebook status so everyone knows.
Obviously inebriated brunette: I'm pretty sure the tox screen will show it.
(ten seconds later)
Obviously inebriated brunette: Kill me. Oh, wait, no need. I'll be dead in three hours.
Obviously inebriated blonde: Just don't go dying in my bed… that's creepy.
(five seconds later)
Obviously inebriated brunette: Um… did you just burp?
Obviously inebriated blonde: Yeah. Why?
Obviously inebriated brunette: Because it just went up my nose.
Obviously inebriated blonde: Now… that's legendary.
–Barnes & Noble, Midtown
Overheard by: NYLove
Man about to cross street to cabbie wearing turban: You terrorist! Get out of my country!
Cabbie, yelling: I'll fucking kill you!
–University Place & 14th St
Overheard by: Heather
Middle aged woman #1: Yeah, so my older daughter is really good with directions. She'll be fine getting around New York.
Middle aged woman #2: Oh, that's good.
Middle aged woman #1: Yeah, but my youngest… she's just… blonde.
–El Quijote Restaurant
Overheard by: Rachel
