Guy: Nathan's the only one that's never lied to me.
Ditzy girl: Oh, yeah? What about me? I've never lied to you!
Guy: You did lie to me. That one time you told me you had Aids/cancer. I looked that up. It doesn't exist!
–Bobst Library, NYU
Overheard by: Krys
Ghetto girl #1: Smut. What is “smut”?
Ghetto girl #2: “Smut”? Sounds like “slut.”
Ghetto girl #1: Yeah. I think it's like “slut,” but for a man.
Ghetto girl #2: Cause it has an “m” for men.
–31st St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Sco108
Guy: Yeah, I'm reading that in the Playbill.
Bimbo: Ew! You brought a porno magazine to a Broadway show?
Guy: No, no, no… Playbill. Not Playboy. It's a Broadway magazine.
Bimbo: Oh. (pauses) So wait, it's gay porno?
–8th Ave
Teeny tiny gay guy: I used to be so skinny in high school.
–Staten Island
Teenage girl to another: I mean, why bother to eat anything if you're just gonna shit it all out?
–L Train
Woman carrying baby to friend: Also, I burn an extra 500 calories a day just by breastfeeding!
–5th Ave & 16th St
Overheard by: Tracy
20-something guy, about Sour Patch Kids gummy candy: They're fat-free, so they're good for you!
–4 Train
Six-year-old girl, eating bagel: All of the fat from this is going to go straight to my ass!
–A Train
Overheard by: that's just great
Hipster: Ugh, my mom keeps forgetting to deposit my unemployment check.
–Williamsburg
Shouting hipster: I tripped over a Mexican!
–Spring St
Overheard by: Brigdh
Hipster girl to guy she is sitting with at the bar: I should have let you cum on my bedspread.
–5th Ave & Bergen, Brooklyn
Dozing hipster, muttering in his sleep: That's what she said.
–G Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Upset hipster chick to friends: So now that my brother's going to college,they're not going to pay my rent anymore. I told my mom, "I'm twenty-five, I pay all my other bills on time, I haven't done anything wrong!"
–Union Pool, Williamsburg
Suit #1: I've been reading about this British kid, Elliot Castro, he's some big time credit card fraudster. I've got his book.
Suit #2: Castro?
Suit #1: Yeah.
Suit #2: A Castro from Britain?
Suit #1: Well, yeah, not British heritage I guess.
Suit #2: Oh, okay. (pause) They got a lot of Mexicans over there?
–Times Square
Teenage tourist boy to friend, gesturing at a gay couple: They're holding hands!
Passing art lover: There's no one holding your hand, sweetheart.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Richard Nixon
Blonde: So what is this drink anyway?
Creepy guy: A roofie-coolada. (sinister snicker)
Blonde: Oh. Okay! (laughs)
–Virgil's, W 44th St
Girl to friend: I have to go by the post office to pick up a package, because I missed the UPS guy when he tried to deliver it.
Friend: Huh?
–2 Train
