Suit #1: I've been reading about this British kid, Elliot Castro, he's some big time credit card fraudster. I've got his book.
Suit #2: Castro?
Suit #1: Yeah.
Suit #2: A Castro from Britain?
Suit #1: Well, yeah, not British heritage I guess.
Suit #2: Oh, okay. (pause) They got a lot of Mexicans over there?
–Times Square
Teenage tourist boy to friend, gesturing at a gay couple: They're holding hands!
Passing art lover: There's no one holding your hand, sweetheart.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Richard Nixon
Blonde: So what is this drink anyway?
Creepy guy: A roofie-coolada. (sinister snicker)
Blonde: Oh. Okay! (laughs)
–Virgil's, W 44th St
Girl to friend: I have to go by the post office to pick up a package, because I missed the UPS guy when he tried to deliver it.
Friend: Huh?
–2 Train
Guy unloading semi #1: Man, this shit sucks!
Guy unloading semi #2: Yeah.
Guy unloading semi #1: Fuck this guy! You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna complain!
Guy unloading semi #2: Yeah.
–38th & 8th
Overheard by: Ari
Woman #1: So, she had half her lung removed.
Woman #2: Does she talk funny now?
Woman #1, confused: Why would she talk funny?
Woman #2: Don't you breathe through your lungs?
Woman #1: You are a moron.
–34th & 7th
20-something redhead to friend, while texting: Wait… Maryland is down, and New York is up, right? I mean map-wise.
Friend: What the fuck?
20-something redhead, no longer texting: I had so much fun tonight. Can we do this again… lately?
Friend: Uhhh, do you mean “soon”?
20-something redhead: Yeah. Soon, lately, you know what I mean.
–Windsor Court, Murray Hill
Bimbo #1 with yoga mat: Have you ever done the two-hour boot camp workout thing?
Bimbo #2 with yoga mat: No, but I hear it's as bad as being in a contraception camp.
–72nd & Columbus
Should-be-blonde girl: So this guy was 100% Italian.
Guy: You mean he was born there?
Should-be-blonde girl: No, but he's been there before.
–Luigi's Pizza Parlor
