Stupidity

I Haven’t Actually Read It

Chick #1: Yeah, Lovely Bones is my favorite book. Totally. What’s yours?
Chick #2: Oh, this book called On the Road. It’s by this guy, Jack Kerouac.
Chick #1: Yeah? What’s it about?
Chick #2: It’s about this beat stuff. ‘Cause the guy — he was, ya know, beat.
Chick #1: Beat?
Chick #2: Yeah, like, him and Allen Ginsberg wrote stuff and hitchhiked and dropped out of Columbia.
Chick #1: Oh my god. Why would you ever drop out of Columbia? Must have sucked to be them.
Chick #2: Yeah, I dunno. I guess they were, like, broke.

–6 train toward Bleecker

The Centuries of Oppression are All Part of Their Cover Story

Jewish guy #1: See if you can buy that broken cookie for a good deal.
Jewish guy #1 and #2 at same time: Fifty cents, yeah!
Jewish guy #3: That’s why we run the world.
All three: Yeah!

–Starbucks, 60th & 1st Ave

Overheard by: jeremy

In the Same Way that Those WMDs Were ‘Sold Out’

Loud customer: Do you have She-Ra: Princess of Power?
Cashier: No, we don’t carry it.
Loud customer: It’s sold out?
Cashier: No. We don’t carry it.
Loud customer: It’s sold out?
Cashier: …Yes.

–Virgin Megastore, Times Square

No More Questions at This Time

College chick #1: I think I’m bisexual.
College chick #2: What do you mean, ‘think’?
Older guy behind them: What do you mean, ‘bisexual’?

–Express train

Overheard by: Ari

…Covering ‘Turning Japanese’

Hipster #1: Okay, so I am going to tap out a song on the table, and you are going to guess what it is!
Hipster #2: Okay, go. [As #1 taps] Oh, oh! I know! ‘Hakuna Matata,’ right?
Hipster #1: Um, no! God, you are so racist — just because we’re in a Japanese restaurant, you think it’s gotta be a Japanese song! It was ‘Death Cab for Cutie,’ you fool.

–Nobu, Hudson St

Overheard by: trying not to laugh behind them

I Haven’t Finished Reading the Title

Chick #1: I gotta read this book for class, and I don’t want to.
Chick #2: Oh, I hate that shit. I hate having to read shit I hate.
Chick #1: I know! I don’t want to read it! I don’t get the book, I don’t understand it — it’s stupid!
Chick #2: What book you gotta read?
Chick #1: I don’t know, it’s called, like, Increasin’ Your Brain Power or something.

–E train

Overheard by: August Galifi

Wednesday One-Liners Are as Dumb as They Look

Prep chick: Is it amoebas that come from Mexico? Or am I thinking of armadillos?

–5th Ave

Overheard by: Francesca

White teen girl: So, is there a Friday next week?

–4 train

Overheard by: Gregorio

Girlfriend: If your friends told you to jump down a bridge, would you do it?

–D train, Grand Concourse

Suit to black gangster holding large chameleon: Excuse me, sir. What species of dinosaur is that?

–Manhattan-bound F train

Overheard by: Josh

Teen: So how much would the game cost if it was $17.99?

–Game Stop, Forest Hills

Future zoologist: They have sea lions here! They’re like lions — from the sea!

–Central Park Zoo

Overheard by: Andrew K.

Dr. Phil: Any Healthy Relationship Has to Entail Some Anal Bribery

Chick #1: So, Fred* and I got in a fight again last night, but we made up just as fast as it all started. I told him that I would let him fuck me in the ass if we can stop fighting for a month.
Chick #2: Oh, yeah, good idea! That’ll work!

–Bartinis

Overheard by: anitaLaMasBonita

Just Be Crippled So You’ll Need Me

Blond: You need to go jump off this balcony right now.
Brunette: It’s the first floor!
Blond: Good, ’cause then you’ll just break your leg. I love you, I don’t want you to die!

–80th & Amsterdam

Well, There’s Parachuting, the Mole Man’s Drilling Machine…

Girl: So, is the ferry the only way to get to Staten Island?

–SeaStreak ferry under the Verrazano Bridge

Overheard by: Look. Up.

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist