Ditzy blonde: I know you’ll think this is stupid, but I was thinking of going to a life coach. A life coach or a really good psychic.
Brunette friend: You know what? I do think it’s stupid. Here, I’ll be your life coach: Fuck psychics, and go get a job. Oh, and don’t get fired this time. You’re fixed now.
–Metro North-Harlem
Comedy show promoter: Miss! You dropped a dreadlock!
Black woman with dreadlocks: Where? (worriedly searches the ground)
Comedy show promoter, holding flyer in her face as looks up: Just kidding! You like comedy?
–Union Square
Tourist lady #1: Hey look, there’s the Statue of Liberty!
Tourist lady #2: Then that must be Alcatraz!
–flight into LaGuardia
Overheard by: Jennifer
Tourist lady: Will we get to stop off at the Statue of Liberty on this bus trip?
–49th & Broadway
Overheard by: Brooke Rachel
Columbia professor [having just explained a relatively simple concept, turning to girl in front]: Do you understand this?
Girl: Yes.
Professor: Good. Because, you know, you’re really the canary in the coal mine for this class. If I can get you to get this, I’m set.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Bobby
Tourist guy: Where are you from?
Female waitress: Sri Lanka.
Tourist guy: Oh, I've always wanted to go to India.
Female waitress: Did you really just say that?
–Times Square Bakery
Overheard by: trey
Two guys are speaking Russian.
Girl: Are you guys from Russia?
Guy #1: Yes.
Girl: No way! My grandma’s from Germany.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: MP
Chick: How come we’re always talking about how the Jews were persecuted? Lots of people have been persecuted. My people have been persecuted, too.
Professor guy: Um…This is “Introduction to Jewish-American Literature”.
Chick: …Yeah, but still.
–Waverly Building, Waverly Place
Chick: I like your grandma.
Guy: He’s a dude.
Chick: Oh… I like your grandpa.
–City College
Overheard by: Low Quality pictures online
NYU guy on cell: Hey dude, I just wanted you to know that I left my burrito in your fridge. Yeah, I'll come around next Tuesday to pick it up.
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Julium
Rotund old woman at lesbian hipster cafe: Give me a sesame bagel, pound it down till it's flat, then toast it till it has a nice rich brown coating. And please, a coffee with cream. Make it a nice tan color.
–Paradise Cafe, 8th & 17th
Overheard by: Sebastian White
Middle aged dad, yelling while crossing street with sons: I will learn to make Pad Thai!
–Union Square
Girl on phone: But seriously, you give me good food, and there's a pretty good chance I'll have a thing for you.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: molly
Man: You know, when I was 25 all I thought about was spending the night at the Playboy mansion. And now I'm 35, and all I really want to do is eat barbecue.
–Hill Country BBQ
Overheard by: I'm just here for the ribs.
Dumb tourist: Excuse me, am I heading toward the Empire State Building?
New Yorker: No, you're in Brooklyn!
Dumb tourist: So… Does that mean I'm really far off?
–Park Slope
