College queer #1, trying to squeeze into seat at crowded table: Oh god, I’m too fat!
College queer #1: No you’re not. Then I wouldn’t be your friend.
–All About Food, NYU
Overheard by: Pri
College queer #1, trying to squeeze into seat at crowded table: Oh god, I’m too fat!
College queer #1: No you’re not. Then I wouldn’t be your friend.
–All About Food, NYU
Overheard by: Pri
Frat boy #1: Did you see that?!
Frat boy #2: What?
Frat boy #1: That guy just fucked you with his eyes.
–12th & University
Overheard by: Eyefucker’s straight friend
Girl: The thing is, he’s too lazy to be a drug dealer.
–Bleecker & Mott
Guy leaving: See you tomorrow, I’m off to do some shoplifting!
–Smith & Union, Red Hook
Queer clerk: Am I sort of red here? [points at forehead]
Chick clerk: Um, no. Well, actually, kinda.
Queer clerk: Yeah, I knew that when his thing hit me there last night, it was going to leave a mark.
–The Pleasure Chest, 7th Ave S
Overheard by: office peon does nyc
Stoner #1: Yo, why did newsboys used to shout “Extra!” when they’d sell papers?
Stoner #2: I don’t know… maybe the news was about.. like… X-Men… like, mutants…
Stoner #1: Yeah… true… maybe.
–University & 8th
Overheard by: Alyson Leigh
Woman: I find the suburbs to be extremely frightening. I know they all have air conditioning, but still…
–6 train
Twentysomething guy: The quality of life here is so bad…I mean, if you enjoy drinking all night and having random sex, you’ll like living in New York.
–5th Ave & 9th St
Girl on cell: It’s Fleet Week here, so I’m getting laid.
–47th & Broadway
Overheard by: Rachel
Girl to sailor: Well, without your hat you’re fucking ugly!
–MacDougal & Bleeker
Dad: What are you going to name your new horse, honey?
Little girl with My Little Pony: Skankbag!
–Bleecker & MacDougal
Overheard by: Michelle
Girl: Oh my god. Don’t even mention his name to me. I hate him so much.
Guy: You mean hate him like you’d wanna set him on fire hate him?
Girl: I mean hate him like I wouldn’t even shit on him if someone else set him on fire.
Guy: Uh… I believe the phrase is “I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire”.
Girl: Yeah, whatever. It’s all the same when you’re lactose-intolerant.
–Greenwich Ave & 12th St
Overheard by: happy milk drinker
Guy #1: Hey. Is it hailing out?
Guy #2: Hail yeah!
Silence for a few seconds.
Guy #2: I said…
Guy #1: I heard you. Shut up.
–Joe’s Pizza, Carmine & 6th Ave
Overheard by: james clunie
