Woman: I find the suburbs to be extremely frightening. I know they all have air conditioning, but still…
–6 train
Twentysomething guy: The quality of life here is so bad…I mean, if you enjoy drinking all night and having random sex, you’ll like living in New York.
–5th Ave & 9th St
Girl on cell: It’s Fleet Week here, so I’m getting laid.
–47th & Broadway
Overheard by: Rachel
Girl to sailor: Well, without your hat you’re fucking ugly!
–MacDougal & Bleeker
Dad: What are you going to name your new horse, honey?
Little girl with My Little Pony: Skankbag!
–Bleecker & MacDougal
Overheard by: Michelle
Girl: Oh my god. Don’t even mention his name to me. I hate him so much.
Guy: You mean hate him like you’d wanna set him on fire hate him?
Girl: I mean hate him like I wouldn’t even shit on him if someone else set him on fire.
Guy: Uh… I believe the phrase is “I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire”.
Girl: Yeah, whatever. It’s all the same when you’re lactose-intolerant.
–Greenwich Ave & 12th St
Overheard by: happy milk drinker
Guy #1: Hey. Is it hailing out?
Guy #2: Hail yeah!
Silence for a few seconds.
Guy #2: I said…
Guy #1: I heard you. Shut up.
–Joe’s Pizza, Carmine & 6th Ave
Overheard by: james clunie
Guy: So, anyway, the short of it is, he is the only guy I ever slept with who didn’t end up giving me money. He was amazing.
Girl: Hmm-mm. I see.
–Houston & Mercer
Overheard by: Angela
Man: And if he’s coming at me with his motherfucking knife, he’s going out the window.
Woman: You ain’t supposed to know about the knife.
Man: I don’t give a shit.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Daniel
Punk rock girl: I’m pretty sure they knew it was satirical.
Punk rock guy: They didn’t think it was satirical, they think you actually think that.
Punk rock girl: But it was parody!
Punk rock guy: It was bullshit!
–7th Ave & Greenwich
Queer #1: So the whole time you were married you weren’t going out with men?
Queer #2: Nope.
–Bleecker & 6th
Guy #1: So, is that Central Park over there? [points to a particularily wooded area across 6th avenue]
Guy #2: Nope.
Guy #1: So then it’s Union Square, right?
Guy #2: Nope, it’s neither.
Guy #1: So basically, those are just a bunch of trees?
Guy #2: Yup.
–MacDougal & Bleecker
