What Would Wednesday One-Liners Do?

Teen boy: So I was watching one of those independent channels, and I saw this weird movie called Jesus Christ Superstar. Have you heard of it? It’s from the 70’s, so the camera work is really bad, but it’s not in black and white or anything. The best part is that Herod is all big and fat and he sings this funny song, like, “You’re the king of the Jews!” It’s a pretty funny movie. You know, except they, like, kill Jesus at the end.

–Q train

Overheard by: A White Bear

Girl: You know, I don’t think Jesus ever asked Mary Magdalene to kiss his balls.

–1849 Bar, Bleecker St

Drunk guy: Jesus saved me already, you fucking cunt!

–Park Slope

Overheard by: braincurve

Chick: Whatever. I could’ve annihilated Jesus at beer pong.

–Trump Building, Wall St

Overheard by: You know who

Girl on cell: Listen, the only ass I kiss is Jesus Christ. Got that?

–Key Food, 235th St

Overheard by: Miriam

Posted on July 12, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Drunks, Jesus, Movies, Murder, On Cell, On the Subway, Park Slope, Teens, The Bronx, The Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Rebellious Wednesday One-Liners

Summer student: I don’t know where and I don’t know what, but I am getting something pierced.

–NYU Dorm, East Village

Girl: I just want to throw a rock at it and watch all the windows shatter.

–Sculpture for Living, Astor Place

Posted on July 5, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Girls, NYU, Students, The Village

Keep Walking North, and You’ll Run Into the Crack Whores, Dear

Woman on cell: First I had to see all of those girls I know with their perfect boyfriends, reminding me I’m single! Now I’m in the Village, and all these gays guys are out with their hot boyfriends, reminding me I’m single. I can’t take it anymore, Ma!

–Christopher & Bleecker

Posted on July 2, 2006
Bimbettes, Gays and Lesbians, One-liners, Relationships, The Village

It Is With Deepest Regret That I Resign as Managing Director of the Universe

Guy #1, under downpour: You said it wasn’t going to rain.
Guy #2: It wasn’t!

–14th & University

Overheard by: aulevan

Posted on July 1, 2006
Guys, The Village, Weather

Those Shoes Say Otherwise

Woman holding baby: Excuse me, what did you say?
Woman with clipboard: I asked you if you would like to join the Democratic Party.
Woman holding baby: No, I’m not poor!

–Washington Square Park

Posted on June 23, 2006
Politics, The Village, Women

Not Quite Ready for the Vows Page

Girl: We’re together.
Guy: We are?
Girl: For now.

–The Bag House, 12th & Broadway

Overheard by: Tina T. Lin

Posted on June 20, 2006
Dating, Girls, Guys, The Village

Memories of the Meth Years

Black lesbian: I’ve been in this neighborhood for so long.
Black gay guy: Mhh-hmmmh.
Black lesbian: Oh man! See that brownstone? Years ago I was invited to a wedding reception there. It was awesome. Beautiful. I was sitting right up front and laughing and crying with the rest of the family, like, I love you ladies! Damn, to this day, I still don’t know how the hell I got there, or who those bitches were.

–Bleecker & Christopher

Overheard by: grrryphon