Slutty girl: My high school history teacher ate my pussy. Then the science teacher. He ate my pussy. Then in college my freshman philosophy professor and my junior year economics professor, they ate my pussy.
Practical girl: You need to put out a Zagat guide to your twat.
–Prince & Broadway
Overheard by: PDJ
Girl: Isn’t your dad Swiss?
Guy: No, he’s Swedish.
Girl: Oh, that’s right: people are Swedish, things are Swiss. Well, actually, they’re interchangeable.
–Sprint Store, 8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Thunder
Girl #1: My mother is friends with tons of socialites.
Girl #2: Well my father fucked Madonna.
Girl #1: You win.
–6th & Bedford
Club kid #1: Yeah, we should make our own clothes, but we need to learn to make patterns.
Club kid #2: My grandma used to know how, but now she has Alzheimer’s.
Clubkid #1: That should make her designs more creative!
–7th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Mark
In line for opening night show of Superman Returns.
Passerby: What’s this line for?
Black dude: Man, everybody wants to see Supercracker.
–4th Ave, between 13th and 14th
Overheard by: Potomac
Construction worker #1: Damn, look at that piece of ass!
Construction worker #2: Those are like National Geographic boobies!
–9th & Broadway
Overheard by: Joe
Guy: If I send a guy over with a bag…how much money can you put in it?
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: tay-no
Teen boy: So I was watching one of those independent channels, and I saw this weird movie called Jesus Christ Superstar. Have you heard of it? It’s from the 70’s, so the camera work is really bad, but it’s not in black and white or anything. The best part is that Herod is all big and fat and he sings this funny song, like, “You’re the king of the Jews!” It’s a pretty funny movie. You know, except they, like, kill Jesus at the end.
–Q train
Overheard by: A White Bear
Girl: You know, I don’t think Jesus ever asked Mary Magdalene to kiss his balls.
–1849 Bar, Bleecker St
Drunk guy: Jesus saved me already, you fucking cunt!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: braincurve
Chick: Whatever. I could’ve annihilated Jesus at beer pong.
–Trump Building, Wall St
Overheard by: You know who
Girl on cell: Listen, the only ass I kiss is Jesus Christ. Got that?
–Key Food, 235th St
Overheard by: Miriam
Summer student: I don’t know where and I don’t know what, but I am getting something pierced.
–NYU Dorm, East Village
Girl: I just want to throw a rock at it and watch all the windows shatter.
–Sculpture for Living, Astor Place
Woman on cell: First I had to see all of those girls I know with their perfect boyfriends, reminding me I’m single! Now I’m in the Village, and all these gays guys are out with their hot boyfriends, reminding me I’m single. I can’t take it anymore, Ma!
–Christopher & Bleecker
