You’ll Be Sorry — This Is a Limited-Time Muffin!

Tourist: What kind of berry is a triberry?
Barista: What?
Tourist: You’re selling a triberry muffin. Well, what’s a triberry? I’ve never heard of that before.
Barista: It has blueberry, strawberry, and raspberry in it. They call it triberry because it has three kinds of berries in it.
Tourist: So there aren’t any triberries in it?
Barista: No.
Tourist: Then why do you call it a triberry muffin? That’s false advertising.
Barista: As I explained, it’s called that because it has three berries in it.
Tourist: But none of those berries are triberries?
Barista: No. There is no such thing as a triberry.
Tourist: I don’t understand.
Barista: Look, do you want the muffin or not?
Tourist: I don’t think so. I don’t want to eat anything unless I know what it is first.
Barista: So what can I get you?
Tourist: Do you have a donut?
Barista: No.
Tourist: Never mind. [leaves]Barista: Dumbass.

–Starbucks

Overheard by: Waplow

Posted on June 24, 2007
Baristas, Food, Idiots, Manhattan, Restaurants & Cafes, Starbucks, Stupidity, Tourists

Will We See Live Hipsters in Their Natural Habitat?

Minnesota girl: Like, when I come to New York I want to do something, like, crazy and fun!
Guy: Well, listen, you ran into the right guy, because I am, like…
Girl and guy in unison: Mr. Crazy Fun!
Guy: Exactly. Like, tonight I’m thinking about starting off at this place called a hookah bar. Have you ever heard of one?
Girl: No! What is it?
Guy: Well, it’s this place where you smoke tobacco in Jordanian water pipes!
Girl: Wow.

–Koronets Pizza, 110th & Broadway

Overheard by: Wyatt

Posted on June 19, 2007
Harlem & Morningside Heights, Manhattan, Midwesterners, Restaurants & Cafes, Smokers & Smoking, Tourism, Tourist Attractions, Tourists

Mom Has a Parallel Argument for Virginity

Tourist teen with new Uggs: Ma, can I wear these out of the store? Please?
Tourist mom: Are you fucking insane? Do you want them to be black in this filthy place? I just paid a hundred and fifty bucks for those. Take your feet out of them and don’t stick them back in until we get back to Michigan.

–David Z, 5th Ave

Overheard by: nicole h.

Posted on June 17, 2007
Gripes, Idiots, Moms, Money & Class, Shoes, Shopping, Store, Teens, Tourists, U.S. Geography

I Rest My Case

Tourist man: Hey, look at this! They’re selling this stuff out on the street!
Tourist lady with thick accent: They have no doors! The rodents will steal all their bread!
Store owner: This is not a bread store, ma’am!
Tourist lady: They will steal your bread! The rodents will steal your bread!
Store owner: We have no bread here!

–Canal St

Posted on June 12, 2007
Animals & Nature, Bosses, Business and Commerce, Food, Idiots, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Tourists, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women

Damn, Just “Danisha”

Teen tourist #1: Let’s go in this souvenir store — I want a name key chain.
Teen tourist #2: Daneesha, they don’t have your ghetto-ass name on a key chain!

–33rd & 5th

Overheard by: Janee Howard

Posted on June 3, 2007
Ghetto Chicks, Names, Tourists

But for Quickie Sex or Puking, I’d Recommend the Third Floor

Tourist lady: Excuse me, do you work here?
Employee: Yes, ma’am. Can I help you?
Tourist lady: Yes. Where are the toilets, please?
Employee: Up the escalators and take a left.
Tourist lady: Thank you. Number one or number two?
Employee: Well… You can do either, ma’am…

–Toys “R” Us, Times Square