Tween: God, I've had such a terrible day. First I was in a wreck, and then I saw a homeless woman–and you know how I am about homeless people.

Petro Express
Charlotte, North Carolina

Middle schooler: There's a gay singer in my bra! There's a gay singer in my bra!

Muirlands Middle
La Jolla, California

Ten-year-old boy: You know what I would have if I could have four wishes?
Big sister: I don’t know. What?
Ten-year-old boy: One: no drought in Georgia; Two: no global warming; Three: world peace; Four: a Komodo dragon that is really nice and fun to play with, is a vegetarian, lives forever and can grant eternal life.

Druid Hills, Atlanta

Overheard by: Miranda

Tween girl to crowd of loitering friends: Everyone’s bisexual… except for Jenny.

Outside Starbucks
Avon, Connecticut

Mother to ten-year-old son at supermarket check-out queue: And then we’ll go and look for a dress for me.
Ten-year-old son: I’m not going clothes shopping with you. You go in every shop, you try everything on, you never like anything and come home with nothing and I’m not standing around waiting!
[All male members of the queue cheer.]


Middle school chick: Sir, are you married?
Substitute teacher: That’s a very personal question. That’s like if I asked you, “Has it started yet?”

Terman Middle School
Palo Alto, California

Overheard by: heerothewizard

Tween boy to another: You seem very gay to me.
Woman with them: That’s not very nice!
Tween boy: What? All I mean is he has a really busy social life.

Moon River Diner

Overheard by: MF in China

Tween girl, to dad and three younger siblings: I can’t believe we’re eating dinner at a Target

Royal Palm Beach, Florida

Overheard by: spacerwoman