Tween girl: Hey, these are cool…
Teen girl, gasping in horror: You never say that to shoes!
–Shoe store, 80th & Columbus
Tween boy #1: Where is he? He owes me fucking ten dollars.
Tween boy #2: This is really gay.
Random girl: I’m offended, you retards!
–W 34th St
Lady suit: Do you think anyone would notice if I just popped a squat and urinated everywhere?
–Port Authority
12-year-old girl: And then… He, like… peed in my mouth. It was kinda gross.
–Eddie’s Sweet Shop
Overheard by: Yorick
Man peeing on the street: Watch the stream, watch the stream!
–W 4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Maya G.
Black guy to coworker: What about that golden shower I had the other night?
–NYU Weinstein Dining Hall
Middle-aged convention female attendee: I didn’t know that urinals flushed. Did you know urinals flushed? Who would have thought?
–Javits Convention Center
Overheard by: Hector
Drunk man to embarrassed friend: Did I tell you about the time I peed on a bum? For real, I did! I was just taking a leak and looked down like: "Oh shit, is that a person?" He looked up on me and said: "Hey, you just peed on me!" And I did! I peed on him! Then I put myself in his shoes like: "What if someone peed on me?" I’d be pissed! That’s some fucked up shit, man. So I gave him ten bucks.
–A Train
Preteen thug to friend: Yo, nigga! What's crackin'?
Passing suit: Your voice.
Thug's friend: Oh, snap!
–Fulton St. & John St.
Overheard by: Annie B
Tween #1: Dude, guess what I found in my brother’s drawer?
Tween #2: Pot?
Tween #1: No, it’s so much worse. Marijuana!
–Hammerstein Ballroom
White college girl: I would definitely want to be a doctor, if I didn't have to go to medical school.
–Fordham University
Nurse to another: Well, it seems that the themes of the day were UTIs and pregnancies.
–NYU Student Health Center
Overheard by: had neither
Black male pre-teen to mother: I know all about doctors, 'cause I watch shows about that. (pause) Actually, I watch Dr Phil.
–1 Train
Guy to two girls: I had to fire my doctor, I didn't like what he told me.
–39th & Lexington
Doctor, drawing on napkin and displaying results to student: This is you…in 40 years, in a fugue state. In Turkey. Dissociative fugue–learn neurology!
–168th & Fort Washington
Middle-school boy: Yeah, you’re a pathological liar.
Middle-school girl: What do you mean? When have I lied to you? I never lie. I only lie to my therapist.
–1 train
Overheard by: cate
Latino middle school boy: Barack Obama’s gay!
Black middle school boy: No he ain’t! He’s black!
–F Train
Overheard by: West Coast Courtney
Tween: Hello, sir.
Hot dog vendor: Hello.
Tween: How much are hot dogs?
Vendor: Two dollars.
Tween: How much is Gatorade?
Vendor: Two dollars.
Tween: Are you high?
–Washington Square Park
Tween girl on cell: I can’t believe there are still Ku Klux Klan members around. Isn’t that, like, so fifties?
–FAO Schwarz
Overheard by: Like, so someone who overheard this
