Weird-looking teen: It's Turkish turnip time again!
Friend: Word.
–79th & 3rd
Overheard by: wallflowerblonde
Weird-looking teen: It's Turkish turnip time again!
Friend: Word.
–79th & 3rd
Overheard by: wallflowerblonde
Neighborhood drunk: (unintelligible)
Guy: I do! I get all my toilet paper at the 99 cent store.
Neighborhood drunk: Then you're one step ahead of the game.
–5th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: wza
Hobo to four pretty girls: Hi ladies, how're you doing today?
Girls: Good, thanks, how are you?
Hobo: Just so you know, when I win my 171 million, I'm taking you all on vacation!
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Samantha
Redheaded hipster #1, jumping in flour: This is so Brooklyn… Why is there flour in the street?
Redheaded hipster #2: Someone probably was just like “fuck this cake,” and threw it out of their window in frustration.
Redheaded hipster #1: I mean, probably.
–Williamsburg
Cougar #1: Did you wax your asshole today?
Cougar #2: No, every other Wednesday.
–The Waverly Inn
Girl: Why do you fuck a sheep at the edge of a cliff? (waits) So the sheep pushes back.
Guy: I don't get it.
Girl: Do I have to explain sheep-fucking to you?!
–Prince & Mercer
Overheard by: Thiess
Person: So how do you get girls, Mr Lynn?
Mr Lynn: I adopt them.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Excellence
Female bartender: I'm double-jointed. Isn't that weird?
Sketchy barfly: You wanna see something weird? I can suck my own dick!
–Mars Bar
Overheard by: Pete
Tourist #1: Last night I wasn’t really wild. I really want to be wild tonight.
Tourist #2: Last night you weren’t wild? I would actually be a little scared to see you go really wild, then.
Tourist #1: Well tonight I’m going to be really crazy. Tonight I’m going to wear my yellow dress!
–Eugene O’Neill Theatre
Angry musclebound gentleman on phone: Wait, you're telling me you had people watching us fuck the whole time? (pause) Actually, that's pretty hot.
Musclebound companion: Yeah, real hot.
–23rd & 8th
