Guy: What is that on your sandal?
Girl: It is a butterfly! What, you don’t know your animals?
–Barbershop, Queens
Guy: What is that on your sandal?
Girl: It is a butterfly! What, you don’t know your animals?
–Barbershop, Queens
Latina: Are you ready to de-colonize Columbus Day?
White boy: Hell yes! Honey, I’d de-colonize America and Israel for you.
–116th St
Chick: Wait, so he was the black dude from Tennessee on the debate team that you were talking to?
Dude: Yeah. Well, no. He was normal.
Chick: What do you mean?
Dude: He was white.
–Soho
Overheard by: drunk at the bar
Man: You guys got syringes? You need syringes? Cause I have a shit ton of syringes at home and I could bring them in.
PetCo employee: Are they used?
–PetCo, Union Square
Overheard by: Dustin
Opera singer #1: So you gave up the rodeo to join the opera?
Opera singer #2: Yeah.
–Band shell, Central Park
Overheard by: Jason
Guy #1: That tongue twister "Sally sells seashells at the seashore" is whacked. Why would you sell seashells at the seashore when you can just pick up seashells at the seashore for free?
Guy #2: Because it’s nice and people are too lazy to look for a nice seashell in the seashore.
Guy #1: What will they do with a seashell? Just look at it?
Guy #2: You can listen to the ocean if you put it in the ear.
Guy #1: Why would I buy a seashell to listen to the ocean if I can listen to the ocean right there? It doesn’t make sense, son.
Guy #2: I don’t know. It’s just a tongue twister, man. It’s not supposed to make sense. Just like the pickle piper shit.
–Uptown 6 train
White lady, surrounded by "Save Darfur" ralliers: Who’s Darfur?
Husband: Well, I don’t know, but whoever he is, he sure is in a lot of trouble.
–6 train
Overheard by: Jill Benson
WASP: Do you know if they’re putting on an express train for the US Open?
Tourist: Um, no, but that’s where I’m going, too.
WASP: I know, that’s why I asked you.
Tourist: How did you know that’s where I’m going?
WASP: Because you’re white. Why else would you be going to Queens?
–7 train, Grand Central
Overheard by: Tennis Fan
Black woman: Excuse me, miss?
Upper-East-Side white biotech: I don’t have any money.
Black woman: I just wanted directions.
–74th & Lex
Black woman: You’re my lawyer! Ain’t it your fucking job to take care of shit like this?! All you white people, controlling everything–you’re all incompetent! Fuckin’ white people!
White attorney: Sandra*, please calm down.
Black woman: Fuckin’ white people!
White attorney: Ma’am, speaking as a white person who happens to hold $379,000 of your money in escrow, may I suggest you stop cursing at us and calm down before I get up and take your checks with me?
Black woman: I will not calm down!!
White attorney gets up and leaves the room.
Woman’s husband: See what you did? You done upset the white man. I ain’t got no problem wit you cursin’ at crackahs, but why you gotta go and piss off the white man who got all our money?
–54th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: Amused white intern
