Man: So these teenagers threatened to kill you?
Woman: Yeah…
Man: Why didn’t you call the police?
Woman: I was on the subway, how am I suppose to call the police?
Man: I can’t believe you told me this. Now what am I suppose to do with this piece of information?
–M72 bus
Non-bitch: There’s a man over there in a green jacket who called me a bitch and threatened to kill me because I wouldn’t give him the time.
–59th & Lexington
Old lady: What’s going on here?
Woman on line: They’re premiering a new film by Todd Solondz
Old lady: Yeah, but what’s it about?
Woman on line: It’s a pretty dark, sadistic movie.
Old lady: What’s it about? Did you not understand me the first time?
Woman on line: I haven’t seen it yet so I don’t know!
Old lady: Jesus. Standing on line for god knows how long and you don’t know a damn thing about what you’re there for!
–outside Chelsea Cinemas, W. 23rd Street
Overheard by: Abbie Mullaney
Man: How is AM New York?
Woman: It’s good, easy. Easy reading. It’s not heavy.
Man: What does AM stand for?
Woman: Umm…I think it stands for morning. Like, morning New York.
Man: Morning! I never thought of that. Yeah, morning New York. That’s good.
–1 train
Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer
A buzzing sound emanates from a woman’s purse.
Woman #1: Oh, that’s my electric toothbrush.
Woman #2: So that’s what the kids are calling it these days.
–Midtown elevator
Woman #1: And what did he want to talk about?
Woman #2: My beaver.
Woman #1: Can you imagine his nerve?
Woman #2: Honey, lots of people are talking about my beaver. Hell more are thinking about it if they aren’t already fucking it.
–Lexington & 42nd
Middle aged guy: So she makes six figures, she’s 40, and she lives at home with her mother?
Middle aged woman: Can you believe it? She has a son, too, but he lives on his own. Can you fucking believe that?
Middle aged guy: Jesus!
–2 train
Overheard by: Mike Sidoti
Trainer: Very good! 25!
Woman: I have to do 25 of them?
Trainer: No, no. You’re lifting 25 pounds.
Woman: 25 and 25 is 50.
–Synergy, Park & 33rd
Middle aged woman: You gots laxatives? Where da laxatives?
Shelfstacker: Laxawhat?
Middle aged woman: Oh yeah, youse too young to know about it, huh? When you gets to my age, you know all about it.
–CVS, 96th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: erra
Tourist woman: I had no idea the Guggenheim Museum was so cheesy looking. What’s it made out of? Is that papier mache or something?
Tourist man: Well, I remember reading somewhere that Frank Lloyd Wright really was a nut.
–5th Ave. & 88th St.
Overheard by: Galen Chistopher
Bald spot chick: I’m bipolar, depressed, and I have a personality disorder, but the doctor says if I quit pulling out my hair he’ll change me from twenty-four medicines to nineteen.
–Broadway & 51st
Woman: I don’t care how blind you are, you gotta cover your ears when that happens.
–23rd & 7th
Woman: There aren’t enough websites for club-thumbs on the internet.
–Midtown office
