Woman #1: And what did he want to talk about?
Woman #2: My beaver.
Woman #1: Can you imagine his nerve?
Woman #2: Honey, lots of people are talking about my beaver. Hell more are thinking about it if they aren’t already fucking it.
–Lexington & 42nd
Middle aged guy: So she makes six figures, she’s 40, and she lives at home with her mother?
Middle aged woman: Can you believe it? She has a son, too, but he lives on his own. Can you fucking believe that?
Middle aged guy: Jesus!
–2 train
Overheard by: Mike Sidoti
Trainer: Very good! 25!
Woman: I have to do 25 of them?
Trainer: No, no. You’re lifting 25 pounds.
Woman: 25 and 25 is 50.
–Synergy, Park & 33rd
Middle aged woman: You gots laxatives? Where da laxatives?
Shelfstacker: Laxawhat?
Middle aged woman: Oh yeah, youse too young to know about it, huh? When you gets to my age, you know all about it.
–CVS, 96th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: erra
Tourist woman: I had no idea the Guggenheim Museum was so cheesy looking. What’s it made out of? Is that papier mache or something?
Tourist man: Well, I remember reading somewhere that Frank Lloyd Wright really was a nut.
–5th Ave. & 88th St.
Overheard by: Galen Chistopher
Bald spot chick: I’m bipolar, depressed, and I have a personality disorder, but the doctor says if I quit pulling out my hair he’ll change me from twenty-four medicines to nineteen.
–Broadway & 51st
Woman: I don’t care how blind you are, you gotta cover your ears when that happens.
–23rd & 7th
Woman: There aren’t enough websites for club-thumbs on the internet.
–Midtown office
Guy on cell: My life is a falafel. No, no, wait, it’s a pita. My life is a pita.
–Broadway & Astor Place
Teen boy: When I get home, I’m gonna get me one of them nutrient shake shits.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Jon Graboff
Woman: I didn’t like the emu there. I’m not going to like it here.
–Eight Mile Creek, Mulberry Street
Overheard by: james uphoff
Woman: He wouldn’t let me leave the store until I bought the champagne. So I bought it and went home and started drinking it, and it was the best stuff ever! I’d gone through half the bottle when I thought I should stop, so then I went over and gave it to the neighbors.
–6 train
Woman: Why are you smiling and licking your lips at me? Do you do this to all the customers?
–J & R Music World, Park Row
Overheard by: mimi lester
Cashier Lady #1: What I’ma do if I gotta go to the pussy doctor? Tell the boss I gotta itch in my pussy?
Cashier Lady #2: Yeah, you gotta protect your privacy.
Cashier Lady #1: They don’t gotta know all about my pussy’s issues.
–Hunter College cafeteria
Overheard by: Carrie
