Woman #1: What’s wrong with Eddie*?
Woman #2: Oh, Eddie* gets claustrophobic in the city.
Little boy: That means he’s afraid of Santa Claus!
–39th St & 6th Ave
Woman #1: What’s wrong with Eddie*?
Woman #2: Oh, Eddie* gets claustrophobic in the city.
Little boy: That means he’s afraid of Santa Claus!
–39th St & 6th Ave
Woman: You know, the only shots Beth* will take are jello shots. She loves them!
Friend: Oh, that’s hilarious.
Woman: I know, I mean she’s 93 years old and still hopping. She loves the high-def television.
–B.L.T Prime, E. 22nd St
Overheard by: cracking up by the coat check
Wife: It’s raining outside.
Husband: It isn’t. They’re playing storm sound effects.
Wife: I can see the street from here. It’s raining.
Husband: Why do you go out of your way to prove me wrong every single moment?
–Hilton Theatre Lobby
Elderly woman on stretcher: Is the ambulance heated?
Handlebar-mustached ambulance driver: Yes.
Elderly woman on stretcher: I’m gonna freeze to death.
Handlebar-mustached ambulance driver (smiling, tenderly): No, you’re gonna sweat to death.
–63rd b/w Park & Lexington
Overheard by: Paul Tabachneck
Woman #1: She wastes so much time at work. Did you ever notice she eats lunch, like, every day?
Woman #2: Yeah, and do you really have to take maternity leave?
–55th & 8th
Woman: Do you have any books on violins?
Sales guy: Well, we don’t have a lot about playing them, but we have some about the sensuality of it.
Woman: It’s for a child.
Sales guy: Oh.
–Borders, 57th & Park Ave
Hipster on cell: Drunk dialing is the new black. Fuck you. Happy new year.
–House Party, Lorimer St
Overheard by: confabulation Nation
Redhead to friend: I swear we always have orange animals and they’re all called Renae.
–Central Park
Woman to man: There are many things to be sad about. The color of money being green isn’t one of them.
–90th & 1st
Overheard by: Sam
Sad suit: Their yogurt is just too white.
–Outside Pinkberry in Koreatown
Girl: Yeah, my pubes are pink.
–B1 Bus
Overheard by: Robert
Middle aged gay man: Alright! I like colored pens! There, I said it.
–42nd St
Older yenta: What is she, anyway?
Younger yenta: Jehovah’s witness.
Older yenta: So that’s her problem!
–PATH
Woman #1: So I got this veal thing while I was there.
Woman #2: What’s veal?
Woman #1: It’s like fake chicken.
–44th & 9th
Woman: So what did you do?
Gay man: I put my pants back on and left the apartment -he was just a house sitter!
–53rd St & 9th Ave
