Guy: Touche.
Girl: Isn't that Japanese for “okay”?
–F Train
Guy: Touche.
Girl: Isn't that Japanese for “okay”?
–F Train
Immigrant girl: No! Jessica has da same accent as me!
Guy: Nah, man, Jessica speaks English mad affluent.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Miguel
Professor: So what do you think of when you think of “paternalism”? Anyone?
Student: “Maury”?
–City College
Overheard by: lilli
NYU freshman girl #1, crossing the street: My dad always says, “No! Don't cross the street yet!” and I'm always like, “Dad, I've lived here for two months, I think I know what I'm doing!”
NYU freshman girl #2: Ha ha! But you know, cab drivers are looking out for you.
NYU freshman girl #1: Yeah, that's their job. If they hit you, they get sued.
NYU freshman girl #2: Yeah. My shirt says it all. “NYU” pretty much means “you'll get sued.”
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: EthanK
Thug on cell: Yo, hearse rent a car? Yo man, I need to rent a hearse. Yeah, I'll hold. (pause) Y'all don't rent no hearses? Why y'all call yoselfs hearse rent a car? (pause) Word? Well, I need to move a body, maybe you got a van or something? (pause) I don't care, I just need to move his dead ass. (pause) Cargo van? Whatever. Yeah.
Thug's friend: Ask if they got am'blances.
–Grand Concourse, 158 St
Overheard by: Big Larry
Girl #1: Is “dildo” a word? Is it in the dictionary?
Girl #2: It should be, it's a noun.
–15th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Dr.Suze
Headline by: Rosie
Runners-Up:
· “And It’s Not That Hard to Wrap Your Tongue Around It.” – Julian
· “I’ve Verified That It Can Be a Person or Thing.” – Jim
· “Just Look for the Picture Of Bill O’Reilly” – jlp
· “Lesbian Wins Scrabble Contest” – mr. macdog
· “Sure Don’t Script Porn Like They Used To” – benji
Gay guy with lisp: I heard Mark, you know, the fat kid? I heard he slept with the hockey team.
Blonde girl: Funny thing is…we don't have sports teams at Marymount.
Gay guy with lisp: Oh my god! Are you cereal? I was lied to? The queen of gossip is never lied to. Ugh!
Blonde: Don't talk to me… You just said “cereal” in place of “serious.”
Gay guy with lisp: Whatever, I'll tell everyone it was you that slept with the hockey team.
–Marymount Manhattan College
Nanny: Do you still like that boy from your class?
Six-year-old girl: No! He stinks.
Nanny: Aww, what happened? He was so cute, I thought.
Six-year-old girl: I know. But he ejected me.
Nanny: Rejected you?
Six-year-old girl: Ejected me!
–Smith & 9th Station
Girl, reading Hydrocortisone cream label: What is “sorey asses”?
Friend: It's “psoriasis,” asshole!
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Sarah
Columbia chick #1: Damn, he's sexy in a right girl's island kind of way.
Columbia chick #2: Don't you mean “Rikers Island”?
–113th & Broadway
