Security lady #1: I don’t think I never met an Amish person.
Security lady #2: Ain’t that Marie Osmond an Amish? Yeah, she’s an Amish person.
Security lady #1: If she’s Amish, why is she allowed to wear so much makeup? They can’t wear makeup, right?
–LaGuardia
Guy: Why do they put peas in the fried rice? Peas and carrots? I don’t want that in my fried rice.
Girl: Because it’s vegetable fried rice.
Guy: That’s what the egg is for.
Girl: Egg is not a vegetable. Wait…What is it? Dairy? It should be meat, because if you let it go it will be meat.
Guy: I think it’s produce.
–LaGuardia
Little girl: What’s London?
Teen girl: London is a country in Europe.
Little girl: In Newark?
–JFK
Overheard by: emily
Woman: Um…excuse me…But…are you all right?
Teen boy: Juilliard audition!
–JFK
Overheard by: Sydney M
Chick: Every time Todd talks to a girl he thinks he’s on a date.
–9th Street between 1st & 2nd
Girl: Hey, where’s my bag? Why hasn’t my bag come through the machine? My other one did; did you have to rescan it or something?
TSA guy: Oh, don’t worry. that’s because we’re keeping it in a 350 degree oven to get it warm and fluffy and then we’re going to toast it to a nice golden brown.
Girl: What?
–JFK
Overheard by: bre
Teen girl: So they’re like the von Trapps.
Chick: If the von Trapps wore Homestar t-shirts and were Tunisian, then sure.
Teen girl: And hot.
Chick: Yeah, the von Trapps did nothing for me in The Sound of
Music. My mom’s dog died the day that movie came out. I guess maybe subconsciously that has something to do with their not-hotness.
Teen girl: What about the Nazi thing?
Chick: The von Trapps weren’t Nazis, were they?
–JFK
Hag: I can’t imagine dropping off my brother at the airport all like, “I’m okay with never seeing you again ’cause you might die in battle.”
Queer: Well, at least he gets a whore.
Hag: What?
Queer: ‘Cause you know they get whores in wars.
Hag: What are you talking about?
Queer: Hello? World War II?
–Olive Garden, Times Square
Girl #1: So Becca’s gonna drive to California from here?
Girl #2: Nope, she’s taking a plane.
Girl #3: Ha, ha! Yeah, duh! Wow, you’re stupid! How could you drive across the ocean?
–LaGuardia, Amsterdam Avenue
Overheard by: Amelia
