At the Airport

Older man to African American girl): Where are you from? Ghana?
Girl (astonished): Columbus, Ohio!

–Terminal 2, JFK

Overheard by: Generous Supply

Girl: Wow, that was some pretty bad turbulence.
Guy: Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be having bowel movements for a week.


Overheard by: Jim D

Guy: I don’t think you’re supposed to like being incarcerated.

–St. Mark’s Place

Overheard by: mkb

Middle-aged man on phone: I’m telling you, if I turn myself in now I won’t be in court for six months.

–50th & 8th

Grungy guy to his friend: …Dude, you have no idea how many times I’ve been in this courthouse…

–Giants Parade, in Front of the Courthouse

Overheard by: Julian

Guy on phone: We really got ourselves in some deep shit with this one. I hope he gets out sooner for good behavior. We should have never gotten involved.

–JFK Airport

Woman, yelling in stall: I will read you your Miranda rights, bitch! I will arrest you!

–Port Authority Women’s Bathroom

Overheard by: unsure if she is crazy or on the phone

Cashier on phone: No, you don’t understand, miss. That is perjury. If I do that, I will go to jail… No, you are not listening to me. I would be arrested. I would serve time…[hangs up, turns to customers.] Can I help you?

–Harlem U-Haul

Chick on cell: Dan and I hit it off so great! We were sitting there on opposite ends of the couch and our feet were all intertwined, and I paused and just was like, ‘Look at us! It’s like we’ve known each other for ages!’ … Well, I’m thinking of asking him to get his DNA checked to see if we’re compatible. ‘Cause, you know, I want someone compatible. I wonder what his genealogical lines are. I told him that I was crazy, though, and that I was gonna ask. It’s just great that he’s willing to do it. It’s good that he knows I’ll be in control of everything.

–Plane leaving LaGuardia

Overheard by: Cassandra

Little girl: Mommy, my ears hurt!
Mom: That’s your third strike! I said stop!

She hits her daughter.

Little girl: That didn’t hurt.
Mom: I will kill you right now, don’t tell me that didn’t hurt.


Overheard by: Zeve

Girl: Where is Norfolk again? Virginia?
Guy: No, Long Island. Long Island forks into two parts, Norfolk and Suffolk.


Overheard by: miss n.

Asian girl #1: Where is Ontario?
Asian girl #2: Um…I think it’s in the Midwest.
Asian girl #1: Oh, really? Is it a state?
Asian girl #2: Hmm…I’m not sure…

–27th & 7th

Mom to young daughter jumping up and down: You need to stop doing that. Jillian*, stop that now. If you don’t stop you are going to fall, if you fall you are going to cry, and if you cry I’m going to yell at you and make fun of you.

–Restroom, JFK

Overheard by: tessa

Stewardess: Please keep all your bags underneath the seat in front of you, cause I’m the bag Nazi and I’ll come back and yell at you!

–Plane, LaGuardia

Stewardess lady: If there is a sudden change in cabin pressure, a mask compartment above your seat will open automatically. If this happens, quickly reach for the nearest mask and pull it down firmly. Continue to breathe normally. If you are travelling with a small child, or someone who acts like a small child, please secure your mask and then assist them.


Overheard by: Amy