Girl #1: God, it’s really snowing out. I hope I make it home in one piece.
Girl #2: Is that you’re way of saying you’d like to sleepover?
Girl #1: No, that’s my way of saying I’d rather risk death than stay here with you.
–44th & 2nd
Girl #1: God, it’s really snowing out. I hope I make it home in one piece.
Girl #2: Is that you’re way of saying you’d like to sleepover?
Girl #1: No, that’s my way of saying I’d rather risk death than stay here with you.
–44th & 2nd
Two NYU girls are walking downtown and one trips and falls on the street.
Hobo: Did you have a nice trip? I’ll see you next fall!
NYU Girl: Hey…where’s your home?
–Water & Fulton
British bitch on cell: I’m surrounded by fucking morons who probably struggled through the NYC school system. We all know New Yorkers are the dumbest. They can’t even read. They haven’t had a Latin education and they probably can’t even speak another language…I didn’t want to get a limo to take to the fuckin’ ghettos of Brooklyn. I didn’t want to take a cab because these uneducated people don’t understand directions. I didn’t want to spend $30 and not get to the right place…Please make sure my car gets fixed. I’ve been reduced to the humiliation of taking public transportation. Now the second part of my fucking nightmare begins. I have to take the subway! I’m dressed like a commoner. I didn’t want to wear a $5000 Chanel suit on a seat that hasn’t been cleaned…She’s letting us borrow her castle for our wedding. If they can’t afford to be there, they obviously don’t deserve to come.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Christine
Skanky woman: If you've got so many phones, why do you never call me?
Skanky man, shouting: Because I'm a drug addict!
–Union Square
Overheard by: dionneloftus
Girl #1: Look at those characters over there.
Girl #2: They’re Hasidic Jews.
–A train
Overheard by: ham
Dude: I mean, you don’t have to completely fall apart once your child dies.
Chick: Yeah, seriously.
–Prince St
Overheard by: Aniela
20-something chick #1: … So was she, like, dating that married guy?
20-something chick #2: No! Man, you can’t date a married guy, he’s married! You can only fuck a married guy.
Lady with kids: Do you mind?!
20-something chick #2: If you don’t want your kids to hear about fucking married men, then don’t raise them in New York!
–34th & Madison
Overheard by: I hate kids too…
Chick #1: Have you ever broken your phone?
Chick #2: No, I think the worst I’ve ever broken is my finger.
Chick #1: [Pause] But, I mean, now I don’t have any of my numbers.
Chick #2: Oh my god! I thought you meant… Oh, wow. Well, why didn’t you just tell me you broke your phone? I have, like, four.
Chick #1: Four?
Chick #2: Well, they weren’t nice. I didn’t feel like they were reliable.
–L train
Bitchy queen to young couple: Hey, are you guys kinky?
Tiny girlfriend, in ridiculously oversized fur: Excuse me?
Bitchy queen: I was just wondering if you knew how it felt to have an electric rod stuck up your ass.
–Lafayette Ave & E 4th
Hobo: Sorry miss, can you spare any change? I haven’t eaten all day.
Girl #1: …Oh I so hate it when they ask me for money. I mean, like I work all week and then I’ll just give away my money?
Girl #2: Yeah, I know, it’s crazy. I once told one of them, “Hey, do you have any idea how much NYU costs? I had to take loans!” But he didn’t even care! He just kept on coughing to pretend he couldn’t hear me or something.
–L train
