Hot chick: Pardon me — can I get a top off?
Barista: Excuse me?!
–Vox Pop, Cortelyou Rd, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Disappointed
Hot chick: Pardon me — can I get a top off?
Barista: Excuse me?!
–Vox Pop, Cortelyou Rd, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Disappointed
Girlfriend: Great! My boyfriend doesn’t even know my last name.
Boyfriend: No, I do! It’s just…
–Lorimer & Metropolitan
Dude: … And I stabbed her with a pencil. That’s when she turned into a vampire!
Friend: Are you serious?
–Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: Stef
Headline by: Arlene
Runners-Up:
· “Night Of the Living Spongebob” – Lalaith
· “Anne Rice Has Officially Run Out Of Ideas” – Jeff
· “It Might Be Time to Retire, Stephen King.” – space coyote
· “Sure I Am. Now Finish Your Paint Chips.” – Craig should be working
· “Tom Cruise Explains Scientology” – Meg
· “Undead Serious” – t.a.m.s.y.
Student #1: Do you have a light?
Student #2: No. Do you have a cigarette?
Student #1: No.
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Black girl: Yo, white boy! Yo, white boy! [White guy ignores her, so she follows him.] White boy! Yo, white boy!
White guy: What?! How would you like it if I yelled, ‘Hey, black girl! Hey, black girl!’?
Black girl: No! It’s okay! I’m white — I went to Pratt.
–Bed-Stuy
Clerk #1: Dang, girl, that old man just bought his self some condoms, and he had a wedding ring, so I know he be cheatin’ on his wife!
Clerk #2: Girl, that ain’t nothin’! Yesterday there was a guy in here buying himself some Trojans, and he was so fine I wanted to follow him right outta here!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: and I ain’t fine?
Six-year-old girl to mom: … And the entire neighborhood was staring at us!
Four-year-old sister: Even God! And he was still alive!
–Joralemon St & Garden Pl, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Cara
Girl #1: Did you hook up with Josh last weekend?
Girl #2: Yeah, we got really drunk and I blew him and we did anal. I dunno if I want to lose my virginity with him, though.
–86th St, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Kandiru
Semi-sober girl: You going home to sleep it off?
Drunk girl: I’m gonna go home and make love to my bed… Make little cots…
–Bar, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: tea
