Student #1: Do you have a light?
Student #2: No. Do you have a cigarette?
Student #1: No.
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Student #1: Do you have a light?
Student #2: No. Do you have a cigarette?
Student #1: No.
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Black girl: Yo, white boy! Yo, white boy! [White guy ignores her, so she follows him.] White boy! Yo, white boy!
White guy: What?! How would you like it if I yelled, ‘Hey, black girl! Hey, black girl!’?
Black girl: No! It’s okay! I’m white — I went to Pratt.
–Bed-Stuy
Clerk #1: Dang, girl, that old man just bought his self some condoms, and he had a wedding ring, so I know he be cheatin’ on his wife!
Clerk #2: Girl, that ain’t nothin’! Yesterday there was a guy in here buying himself some Trojans, and he was so fine I wanted to follow him right outta here!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: and I ain’t fine?
Six-year-old girl to mom: … And the entire neighborhood was staring at us!
Four-year-old sister: Even God! And he was still alive!
–Joralemon St & Garden Pl, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Cara
Girl #1: Did you hook up with Josh last weekend?
Girl #2: Yeah, we got really drunk and I blew him and we did anal. I dunno if I want to lose my virginity with him, though.
–86th St, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Kandiru
Semi-sober girl: You going home to sleep it off?
Drunk girl: I’m gonna go home and make love to my bed… Make little cots…
–Bar, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: tea
Hipsterette #1: I just don’t know what to do!
Hipsterette #2: Just be an artist, baby. Paint it out. Paint all your emotions out.
–S 1st & Havemeyer, Williamsburg
Hobo #1: Bitches is crazy, crazy. Had no choice but to fuck that squirrel.
Hobo #2: Nooo, nooo.
Hobo #1: Yup, yup. That squirrel was worth five cents.
Hobo #2: Nooo, I’ll tell you how much that squirrel was worth. $15.98.
–St. Johns Pl, Park Slope
Woman who endured rush hour: Wow, what a rush! That was just like Frogger!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Amy D M
Girl watching friend play Frogger: Oh, I remember how to play! You’re supposed to avoid the cars!
–Barcade, Williamsburg
Overheard by: champ
Dude: I’m telling you, I was put on this Earth just to play fuckin’ Tetris.
–W 13th St
Overheard by: Lauren L
Little Dominican boy to classmate: Why you had to tell on me, white boy, version-one-of-Donkey-Kong?!
–PS 8, Washington Heights
Overheard by: Mona
Law student: He’s a good professor, but he doesn’t have that Mortal Kombat instinct. You know — finish him!
–Sammy’s Noodle Shop, 6th Ave
Overheard by: Rose Fox
