Little boy: I see Jesus, I see Jesus!!
Mother, pulling on little boys arm: Stop using that word, Billy!
–Ladies Room, Brooklyn Restaurant
Little boy: I see Jesus, I see Jesus!!
Mother, pulling on little boys arm: Stop using that word, Billy!
–Ladies Room, Brooklyn Restaurant
Old woman: Have you seen Charlie?
Guy: No..he said he was gonna check himself into the hospital, and probably stay for a long time.
Old woman: Because I have some food for him…Now Patrick, have you seen Charlie? I have some food for him.
Old man: Charlie done checked hisself into the psycho ward for two months.
Old woman: I guess I gotta throw the food out then.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Heiny Kleist
20-ish girl seeing group of orthodox Jews walk by: Hey, look at all those Amish people! Oh, wait, are they Amish or acidic Jews?
–8th & Bedford
Overheard by: joe
A buppie is parking his BMW, blasting a ’50s rock ‘n roll tune out the window.
Thug: Why a nigga wanna be listenin’ to that shit?
–Brooklyn Heights
Girlfriend, exiting cafe: I told you you should have googled this place before we drove all the way here!
Boyfriend: I'm sorry. Let's just go into the city! Bars are open until five there!
Girlfriend: You couldn't entertain me in Brooklyn for half an hour. What are you going to do with me in the city until five?
Boyfriend: Walk up and down the city streets!
–Bedford Ave & 6th St
Girl: Would you be mad if I became a dominatrix? It's not like I'd let the guys go down on me. It's a better option than prostitution.
Guy: Or you could just *not* do sex work, since you have a PhD.
–St. John's Place, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Eavesdropper has become eavesdroppee!
Hipster #1: Narwhals don't bite–you're impaled.
Hipster #2: So they must have discovered narwhals before unicorns.
–Wasabi, Manhattan Ave & Bedford Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Laura
Cute blonde girl: I was in Duane Reade last night at three a.m. I was buying little green army men!
Cute brunette girl: Why were you buying little green army men?!
Cute blonde girl: I don’t know!
–545 45th St
Overheard by: Javi
Guy: So how come we can’t try butt loving?
Girl: I’m saving it for my husband.
Guy: Are you serious? That’s like so…Victorian of you.
–Soda Bar, Vanderbilt Ave, Brooklyn
Headline by: axamendes
Runners-Up:
· “Actually, It’s More Victor/Victorian.” – Faith
· “And Calling It ‘Butt Loving’ Isn’t?” – Ante K
· “Gives New Meaning to ‘Do You Have Price Albert in the Can?'” – Lydia
· “I Want a ‘Brown Wedding'” – clarence rosario
· “I’ll Even Show You My Ankles as I Give You a Rim Job” – sara swank
· “Jane Austen’s First Draft: ‘Reader, I Butt Loved Him.'” – Sarah
· “Monogamy Is Such a Pain in the Ass” – Karlikitten
· “Next, on the History Channel: Felching During the Reign of King Richard” – Matt
· “Victorians Were So Anal!” – eighty4sapphire
· “Virginity, Fudged” – Sara
· “Yeah, I Know, But It’s the Only Thing Left in My Dowry” – ilemanzer
20-something dude: I don't get why a tourist would spend their whole day trying to spot an actor.
Friend: Yeah.
20-something dude: I guess I could see myself going to some real hot actresses' usual spots.
Man: You mean like stalking?
20-something dude: Hah! This guy knows what I'm talking about.
Man: I'm a cop.
20-something dude: Oh. So you actually know what I'm talking about. Don't worry, officer, I only intend on stalking Natalie Portman.
Cop: You wanna go for a ride?
20-something dude: Like around in your car?
Cop: To the station.
20-something dude: I'll shut up.
Cop: Thatta boy.
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: InDCandMissingBK
