Wednesday One-Liners You Can Dance to

Dude: He’s the black, blind Motown equivalent of Kenny G.

–113th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Girl, while leaving screening of "I am legend": Okay… I cannot believe the woman did not know Bob Marley! I mean, that had to be the most unrealistic thing in that entire film.

–Fresh Meadows, Queens

Overheard by: hmmm…

Curly-haired chick: Has New Order become an okay kinky sex background band? Am I *old*?

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: Poogins

Guy, standing next to guy listening to Journey on his iPod: Get away from me! Just get the fuck away from me!

–2 Train

Dumb girl dressed like Scary Spice en route to the concert: Yeah, a lot of people think that the Spice Girls like, reinstated feminism.

–NJ Transit

Yale grad: Eminem has a wonderful sense of meter.

–Court St., Brooklyn

Overheard by: Justin Casement

Queer: We only stayed for 15 minutes, I’m not that into karaoke. And when a coven of lesbians start casting their spells to "My Sharona", I was outta there."

–Chambers & Greenwich

Overheard by: Grand Witch Muffy

Posted on June 23, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Celebrations/Parties, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Disabilities, Ew, Jersey, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Idiots, Insults, Kink, Movies, Music, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Philosophy, Queens, Queer guys, Questions, Singing, Street, The Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness

Raise Your Hand If You Assumed It Was a Harry Potter Thing.

Six-year old girl: Mom! I want some triffles!
(tired mother ignores her)
Six-year old girl: Triffles, mom! Can I have some when we get home? Please, mom? I want triffles! Triffles, triffles, triffles!
Tired mother: What the hell is a triffle? I don't even know what those are.
Six-year old girl: Yeah. Me neither.

–Crown Heights

Overheard by: Now I really wanna know

Posted on June 18, 2021
Brooklyn, Kids, Moms, Questions, Wishes & desires, Words

Wednesday One-liners Lunch Hour

Teen boy: Yo, I got the munchies, B…Yo, what happened to the guys with candy and shit? Shit was mad convenient.

–1 train

Overheard by: I. J. Meyers

Posted on June 17, 2021
Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dating, Elevators, Fashion, Food, Health and Hygiene, Junk Food & Fast Food, Latinos, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Retail Therapy, Sex & Relationships, Smokers & Smoking, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Times Square, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Presenting Our Catch Phrase for the Day

Woman #1: Ah, look at those beautiful puppies.
Woman #2: Puppies are bullshit.

–Bay Ridge

Posted on June 7, 2021
Animals & Nature, Brooklyn, Women

Wednesday One-Liners: So Lifelike!

Girl: If I made a sex doll that smelled like elk, he would totally do it!

–Queens

Middle-aged Latino: I've got barbie dolls!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Confabulation Nation

Newspaper vendor: Cause I have that multiple sneezing thing! I hate that crap! I'm like a bobble-head doll!

–96th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Galatea

Girl leaving nail salon: It looks like Malibu Barbie just threw up all over my feet.

–11th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Bill

Despondent little girl in coffee shop: Um, I don't play with the doll house that much because you said we're not supposed to play in the meditation room.

–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn

Posted on June 3, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Gripes, Kids, Kink, Latinos, Queens, Sensory Experiences, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Upper East Side, Vendors & Street Performers, Vomit, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Yoga

You Don’t Realize How Much You Hate Kids Until You Have Them

Mom: I’m gonna throw you in the garbage! You’re driving me crazy!
Toddler slung over her shoulder: No, Ma! Don’t throw me in the garbage!
Mom: Then stop driving me crazy!

–Near Echo Food, Bay Ridge, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Yuu

Posted on June 2, 2021
Brooklyn, Kids, Moms, Threats

The Secret Is to Keep the Volume Down

Girl: What do you think he would do if I pushed his cart over?
Hobo: Bitch, I don’t care if you’re a girl, I’ll beat your ass.

–Carroll St & 7th Ave, Brooklyn

Posted on May 29, 2021
Brooklyn, Fighting and ass kicking, Girls, Hobos, Homeless

What Not to Wednesday One-Liner

Hipster girl: Look, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to dress like a fifth grader.

–Union Pool, Brooklyn

Vain fag, looking at pants: I really love these shorts, I hope they’re *in* this summer…

–LIRR

Guy wearing bright green leather clogs: No, I’d never wear crocs. They’re ugly.

–Forest Hills Gardens, Queens

Overheard by: Aloof Loner

Goth girl: Let’s buy fur coats and throw paint on ourselves.

–Bloomingdale’s

Disembodied voice: Yo, these are mom jeans. I hate that shit! The waist goes all the way up to your stomach and then it makes a little V-neck pouch for your vagina. I hate that shit!

–Fitting Rooms, Gap in Herald Square

Overheard by: Zarya

[Waiting in line for the washroom.]Lady, bawling her eyes out: Sorry, I ordered this jacket, and it’s two sizes too big!

–Macy’s

Overheard by: Tracy