Drunk goth chick to couple making out: Public displays of affection cause cancer!
Man, taking a break: Really?
Drunk goth chick: No. Just jealousy.
–9th & 3rd
Drunk goth chick to couple making out: Public displays of affection cause cancer!
Man, taking a break: Really?
Drunk goth chick: No. Just jealousy.
–9th & 3rd
Chick: Are you chewing gum?
Dude: Yeah…
Chick: Take that out of your mouth. I hear that you get cancer by chewing gum while smoking.
–W 4th St
Hipster #1: We’re all going to get tumors from cell phones. The speakers emit microwaves.
Hipster #2: That’s why I always switch which side I talk on. I want to spread it out.
–Coney Island-bound F train
Overheard by: Cait O’Connor
Doctor: Order an MRI, CT scan, and a full blood work-up.
Session assistant: Okay… What’s the primary diagnosis?
Doctor: I don’t know, cancer?
–Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center
B&T girl #1, looking at gourds: That looks like a tumor!
B&T girl #2: That looks like my ovary!
–Union Square Farmers Market
Overheard by: Glynda
Teen girl #1: So, I heard that this porn star had, like, lung cancer and had to, like, have part of her lung removed.
Teen girl #2: Damn, that sucks. Is she, like, always out of breath?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, and she, like, can’t talk that much either ’cause she can hardly breathe.
Teen girl #2: But isn’t she a porn star? When she like, you know, has an orgasm, how can she make those loud noises? Her career is so over.
Teen girl #1: Maybe she has a ventriloquist.
Teen girl #2: No way. That’d only work if she was a guy and it was gay porn, ’cause, I mean, who’s ever heard of a girl ventriloquist?
–Deli, 42nd St
Headline by: Emilio Lizardo
Runners-Up:
· “And They Called Her Howdy Pooty” – Sean
· “Charlie McCarthy Does Dallas!” – Mary Beth Hanlon
· “How many ‘likes’ does it take to get to another orgasm?” – Maggie Mae
· “I never knew smoking pole could cause lung cancer” – Matt T
· “If Helen Keller did porn” – Em
· “She’s Not Bad, But I Can See Her Lips Moving” – Dan
· “That’s not all she’s faking” – CoolPapaZ
· “Those screeching sounds come from her other set of lips” – Nick. D.
· “You know what else turns me on? Leprosy” – Steve
Hipster chick: Do you think New Yorkers are mean, or are we just so jaded we’re not fazed by anything?
Hipster dude: I think it’s a combination of both.
Hipster chick: Because, well, my friend just found out he has testicular cancer, and he’s getting one of his balls removed on his birthday. And I thought that was hilarious. You know what else? Maybe New Yorkers are also whores — I seriously considered sleeping with him just so I could say I was the last person to see his left ball.
Hipster dude: That’s a bit soulless. But it’s also a little funny.
Hipster chick: See, really, if you think about it in the right way, everything is funny.
Hobo: You’re just a mean whore.
–Bedford & 6th St
Overheard by: Overheard in New York is based on that very concept
JAP #1: Oh god, it’s so funny sometimes to start a sentence with, "But I have a brain tumor!"
JAP #2: That’s so not funny.
JAP #1: But I do have a brain tumor! See? So funny!
–2 train
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Dude #1: So what’s going on with *Paige?
Dude #2: Oh! She doesn’t have cancer!
Dude #3: Sweet! Let’s get mohawks!
Dude #1: Well, there goes my night.
–Arion & Broadway, Bushwick
Girl #1: You know how deodorant gives you cancer?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: Well, I’d rather take the risk, because nobody’s going to like you for being smelly.
–R train
