PR woman #1: So, my cousin’s test on her biopsy showed that it was cancerous…
PR woman #2: Girl, that nuttin’. My best friend’s sister’s husband — he’s a doctor — was drivin’ to the city from New Jersey yesterday, got outta his car and got run over by a truck.

–Union Square station

Overheard by: drfunk

Guy: What do you give a baby who is blind and deaf?
Girl: Television?
Guy: Cancer…Television’s a better answer.

–Washington Square South

Overheard by: Elizabeth Benefiel

Girl #1: I didn't know your grandmother had cancer.
Girl #2: Of course she had cancer! Why else would she have only one boob?
Girl #1: Is this the mean one or the fat one?
Girl #2: The mean one.

–Kimmel Center Elevator, NYU

Girl #1: Man, it sure is cold.
Girl #2: Yes…but my insides are fiery…and cancerous.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Grace

Man: What’s that black band on your wrist for? Everyone has those things now. Is it like Kabbalah? Or to cure cancer?
Woman: It’s a hairband.

–Flight out of LaGuardia

Girl: Oh my God, that’s what a smoker’s lung looks like?
Guy #1: Whoa… Yeah, I guess it is. Look, that’s what a cancerous lung looks like.
Girl: That is disgusting.
Guy #1: Really is.
Guy #2: Putrid. Absolutely grotesque.
Guy #1: Really makes you think twice about smoking. I really need a cigarette.

–Bodies Exhibition, South Street Seaport

Old man: Enjoy your cancer.
Underage smoker: Thanks, man! You too!

–73rd & Columbus

Overheard by: Fish

Teenage girl, running up to two friends from behind: Molly! And Kaya!
Molly or Kaya: Oh, Bren! Are you coming to Starbucks?
Bren: No, I have to go get that cancer vaccination! Right now!

–Prince & Spring

Girl #1: Look, yo! You got a tumor on your arm, a tumor!
Girl #2: That’s not a tumor, it’s a mosquito bite… like my tits!

–E Train

Overheard by: Jatmos

Crazy man: Now, you probably don’t know this, but most of y’all have diabetes.

–1 train

Overheard by: bildita

Tall, skinny suit to lady suit: … What’s your sick policy? I was like, ‘Stay the fuck away from me, and don’t get me sick — that’s our sick policy!’

–13th & University

Overheard by: Dave D

Chick: I’da killed him if it wasn’t for that damn leukemia.

–9th & Smith St station

Dude: Can you get carpel tunnel of the butt?

–17th & 6th

Girl on cell: I’m like a virus. I never go away. I go away for a little bit, and you think you’re clear, and then I come back and take over your body.

–33rd & 30th, Astoria

Overheard by: brigid