Woman: C’mon, please move into the train.
Guy: Would you like to crawl into my asshole?
–1 train, 34th Street station
Woman: C’mon, please move into the train.
Guy: Would you like to crawl into my asshole?
–1 train, 34th Street station
Guido: Why don’t you get a real job?
Meter maid: I got a real job. And I give real tickets.
–Sheepshead Bay
Overheard by: Dan Hughes
Girl: I can’t stop thinking about having sex with you.
Guy: Uh, aren’t you being a little loud about that?
–University & 8th
Overheard by: Lauren
Girl #1: I never realized how nice his back was until we broke up.
Girl #2: As he was walking away from you?
–Stuyvesant & 3rd
Overheard by: katyunextraordinaire
Guy: It was a good night! We saw the parade…we got drunk…I made out with a pregnant nun…
–Ben’s Pizza, Spring Street
Overheard by: A. Yanishevsky
Drunk girl: Hey, Red #2, where’s the rest of the pack?
Red crayon guy: Ooh, you’re a regular Dean Martin, aren’t you?
–Puck Fair, Lafayette Street
Guy on cell: Trick or treat, fucking witch!
–20th & Park
Overheard by: Pedro Lebron
Guy #1: I know it’s Halloween and this is the West Village, but do you faggots have to block the entire sidewalk?
Guy #2: Oh go sit on a cock.
Guy #1: Yeah, you’d like that.
–Christopher & Bedford
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Chick on cell: Wait, wait, he put what where?…Uh huh…Well it was
Halloween last night…And then he did what? He ate it? That must have tasted like shit, literally!
–F train
Hipster girl: You know that guy Adam? That I….screwed? Well, he got arrested on Halloween for having a gun that looked like a gun.
–Mercer & Waverly
Woman: It’s a pity about that actress who stabbed someone with her knife. What’s her name? …Um…Reese?
Chick: Witherspoon?
Woman: No! With her knife!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Emilia
Suit #1: I know where we are.
Suit #2: Where?
Suit #1: On the corner!
–9th Street & 1st Avenue
Overheard by: Your Mom
Guy: Excuse me, can I tell you a joke?
Girl: …What?
Guy: Can I tell you a joke?
Girl: …No.
Guy: Are you su–
Girl: Didn’t you fucking hear me, you idiot?
She gets up and starts walking away.
Girl: Jesus Christ, these fucking…
–Central Park
