Worker #1: What do you want?
Worker #2: Iced tea.
Worker #1, checking at Wendy’s: They don’t have iced tea. What do you want?
Worker #2: Mashed potatoes.
–Court St, Brooklyn
Worker #1: What do you want?
Worker #2: Iced tea.
Worker #1, checking at Wendy’s: They don’t have iced tea. What do you want?
Worker #2: Mashed potatoes.
–Court St, Brooklyn
DHL guy: Hey, you going to 5-5-1-3? Take this over there for me.
FedEx lady: Nigga, you know there’s no ‘FedEx’ in ‘team.’
–55th floor, Empire State Building
Overheard by: Guy Smiley
Coworker #1: So what’ve you been up to?
Coworker #2: The usual. Just whacked off.
Coworker #1: Dude, you’re on speakerphone.
–Office, Midtown
Overheard by: Madeline
Receptionist #1: Can you just please go to McDonald’s for me?
Receptionist #2: Fine, let me just take off my pants.
–57th & Broadway
Overheard by: Bdizzle
Female clerk #1: He’s about 300 pounds now!
Female clerk #2: There’s something wrong with that baby.
–Staples, Union Square West
Some Con Ed workers are standing around a manhole, peeking in and looking confused.
Con Ed worker: Just put some tape on it!
–43rd St & 30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Jennifer Cuatt
Girl: I have another interview at 3:00 today.
Guy: Didn’t you already hire someone?
Girl: Yeah, but this is that Harvard grad. I want to know which office supply she would be.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Peter H
Guy: My eye won’t stop twitching.
Girl: Maybe you should have thought of that before you wiped sarin on the counter. Oh, oops, I just realized that the subway is a bad place to talk about work.
–E train
Intern suit: So how do I get that pre-freshman to give me a handjob?
Girl: Do you realize that you’re graduating from college soon, and you’re asking me this?
–60th & Lex
Overheard by: grossed out
Annoucement: Attention transit police. Please respond. There is a passenger harrassing peeople on the southbound platform.
Wait 30 seconds… Announcement repeats three times. Guy on platform takes off his headphones.
Headphone guy: Wait — What was that about the harrassing?
Other guy on platform: Oh, you don’t have to worry — he’s on the southbound platform.
Headphone guy [puts his headphones on again]: Cool.
–18th St 1/9 stop, northbound platform
Overheard by: diana
