Suit: Sometimes I want to ask Dan* if he’s gay. I can’t figure out if he is or not.
Woman: Is he flamboyant?
Suit: Yeah, but that could be because he’s a southerner.
–550 Madison Ave
Overheard by: DrDorn
Suit: Sometimes I want to ask Dan* if he’s gay. I can’t figure out if he is or not.
Woman: Is he flamboyant?
Suit: Yeah, but that could be because he’s a southerner.
–550 Madison Ave
Overheard by: DrDorn
Passenger #1: Boy, this elevator is slow! It’s worse than in the projects!
Passenger #2: Yeah, but there’s less urine here.
Passenger #3: Less throw up, too.
–Elevator, office building, Midtown
Trendy girl: Yeah, well, it’s cheaper to steal cars in the US than to import them.
Fellow employee: Yeah, so he steals these cars and takes them way the hell out to the middle of nowhere… Like, Brooklyn…
–Office elevator, Park Ave South
Overheard by: way too much time on my hands
Girl: Last time you told me something was overrated I got pregnant.
–Sephora, Broadway
Overheard by: linzz
Guy: … So then she changed her middle name to something like "Afterbirth…"
–Spring St
Overheard by: boston bobby
College guy on cell: He was like, ‘Shit, she’s got a bun in the oven!’ And I was like, ‘Oh, shit!’
–Columbia University
Overheard by: roo
Chick: She said he talked to her on the phone and that’s how he got her pregnant.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: Wondering how that works
Preggers: I’m gonna across this street against the light, pregnant and all, and I’m not gonna have a miscarriage.
–Eastern Pkwy & Classon Ave, Crown Heights, Brooklyn
Employee to another: I only gained two pounds during my pregnancy, and I’m on my seventh month!
–Burger King, 5th Ave, between 36th & 37th
Overheard by: EE Grimshaw
NYU girl on cell: … So then the doctor comes in and he goes, ‘Houston, we have a problem…" I know, right? What’s with doctors trying to be all funny when they’re telling you that you’re pregnant?
–NYU bus
Overheard by: tj
Male coworker: … And that’s how I lost all feeling in my fingers.
Female coworker: Man, that’s fucked up.
Male coworker: I am fucked up. I used to try and have four different personalities.
Female coworker: I remember that. You still doing that shit?
Male coworker: Only with my girlfriend.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Jacqui
Haitian worker #1: Yo, no offense, but that’s what I don’t like about black girls.
Haitian worker #2: Yeah…
Haitian worker #1: You gotta find yourself a good white girl. And not just one from, like, Baltimore, ’cause they mad ghetto. You gotta find a good white girl from, like, Indianapolis, You know, down South.
–Gray’s Papaya, Chelsea
Salesgirl: Hey. Wow, you look really bad!
Salesguy: Gee, thanks.
Salesgirl: It’s just that your eyes are all bloodshot. And your skin is kind of grey.
Salesguy: Oh, that.
–American Apparel, Broadway
Tall blonde: Didn’t you say you were getting an ice cream cake? I’m so confused.
Short blonde: There was no time for both, so that’ll have to be another break a little later.
Tall blonde: Ah, okay. I just was worried about it sitting in Accounting, so I went to get it and they had no idea what I was talking about.
Short blonde: Oh, no, no. Plus, I couldn’t carry all three. The good news — Mylar won’t melt.
–25th & Broadway
Overheard by: prciosasoy
Manager to resigned employee: It’s okay. If I worked here I’d be looking for another job as well.
–Barnes & Noble, Park Slope
Guy pleading into cell: Give me a break! So I have sex with one fuckin’ coworker…
–Lafayette & Spring
Overheard by: Jeff in Soho
Late-40s guy: When you get to be my age it’s hard to make the big money, to become rich. Sure, I could get a job, but that’s not me.
–Bus, Port Authority
Overheard by: How long is this bus ride?
Suit: I mean, if I’m gonna fuck a fatty it’s going to be one I don’t have to see at work on Monday.
–6 train, Astor Place
Bike messenger: I could die at any time. That’s why my job is so great. I clock in for doom.
–37th & Broadway
40-something lady suit: Well, I don’t want to work with her anymore.
Young male suit: She’s so high-strung all the time. She needs a vacation or somethi–
40-something lady suit: –What she needs is to set aside a Saturday and get fucked by 10 men at the same time.
–81st & Central Park West
Overheard by: Zenana
