Blockbuster employee, reading newspaper: I've never heard of these airlines. Qatar?
Customer: It's a country.
–Blockbuster Store
Blockbuster employee, reading newspaper: I've never heard of these airlines. Qatar?
Customer: It's a country.
–Blockbuster Store
Audience member in bar: Could I have a glass of wine?
Volunteer bartender: Sure, light or dark?
Audience member: Umm…red, please.
–White Wave Dance, Brooklyn
Bartender: You're in it, right?
Customer: Yeah. I usually do work when I drink. I need to be drunk when I code. Strippers and programmers…I don't know why.
–P&G Bar
Overheard by: Holiday Guts!
Male hotel guest: That looks like it hurts. Do you need any ice?
Female hotel guest: No, thanks.
Male hotel guest: I better not come home and find him fucking that Russian girl in my room. I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him. (whisper) I'm gonna kill him…
–Elevator, Hudson
Customer holding $300 worth of lighting equipment: You know, if you want to give me a discount that would be totally fine with me.
Only non-hasidic employee in sight: Sorry sir, its not my store…I don't even have the right haircut.
–BH Photo
Kmart security guard to dumbfounded customer: Excuse me, Korea is in America, right?
Customer: Korea!? Korea is an independent nation very far from the US in the east.
Security guard: Oh, okay, are you sure? Are you American?
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: astonished
Elderly customer: Excuse me, do you have enema bags?
Cashier #1: Enema bags?
Elderly customer: Yes, enema bags.
Cashier #1: Do we have enema bags?
Cashier #2: Animal bags?
Cashier #1: No, enema bags.
Cashier #2: Oh, enema bags?
Cashier #1: Yes. Enema bags.
Elderly customer: I'll check the pharmacy.
–Duane Reade, 19th & 7th
Overheard by: Kate
Headline by: Nick
Runners-Up:
· “And This Is How Fido Got a Clean Colon” – lucas
· “Coincidentally Enough I Am Planning to Use It on an Animal.” – robin
· “Elderly Boy Scouts Are Always Prepared” – Rose
· “Love Thy Enema” – threetimefinalist
· “No, But We Do Know the Muffin Man” – BabakganoosH
· “The Deli Was Probably a Bad Place to Start” – Brian
Gay guy, trying on long black fur coat: How do I look?
Girl: Like a gay, Russian, Cruella de Vil.
Random customer: I'm gay and Russian. And I wouldn't wear that.
–Century 21
Straight male employee: How gay do you have to be to shop here?
Gay male customer, overhearing employee: How gay do you have to be to work here?
–Michael's Craft Store, Queens
Customer: I'll have an egg omelet.
Cook: An egg omelet?
Customer: Yeah, one made with eggs.
Cook: Thank god you mentioned eggs. I was about to give you an omelet solely made from butter!
–Grant's Restaurant
Overheard by: AJ
