Hobo #1, rubbing another’s belly: Hey, man, what ya got in there?
Hobo #2: Beer.
–Canal & Broadway
Overheard by: Stonned def
Hobo #1, rubbing another’s belly: Hey, man, what ya got in there?
Hobo #2: Beer.
–Canal & Broadway
Overheard by: Stonned def
Guy #1: I wish I was back in Baltimore.
Guy #2: Pshhh… Maryland has crabs. Hahaha.
Old man passerby: Please! That’s the same joke everyone tells about Maryland. Get some creativity!
–Union Square
Bimbette #1: Like, I’m not okay with not believing him. Like, does that make sense?
Bimbette #2: Totally.
–East Village
Redhead: I just learned that people can become lactose intolerant from drinking too much alcohol.
Guy: I told you — the people at your intervention will tell you anything to get you to stop.
–91st St
College kid #1: You know, I don’t think I’ve ever actually had a Whopper.
College kid #2: Whoppers are the shit. But look, on the value menu, why buy a Whopper when you can get three and a half Whopper Juniors for the same price?
College kid #1, truly appreciative: Wow, Mike*, you’re so smart.
–Burger King, 42nd St
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Woman: Well, I’ll tell you one thing — if you ever show up late again, I will have to refer to you as my late husband.
Man: Uh, you do know what that connotates?
Woman: Yep.
–Q train
Tourist: Excuse me, does the F train stop here?
Employee: Are you kidding me?
–Subway restaurant, Houston & Lafayette
Frat guy, to bodega employee: Do you guys have Vitamin Water?
Hobo: I got your Vitamin Water right here. It’s called B-E-E-R!
–DeKalb Ave, Brooklyn
Teen guy #1: When you get a physical, it’s normal to get a thumb up your ass, right?
Teen guy #2: Are you serious?
Teen guy #1: Why?
Teen guy #2: No, dude. That’s fucked.
Teen guy #1: Yeah… Time for a new doctor.
–51st & 2nd
Overheard by: Your mom
