Girl diner: You can order a tongue sandwich!
Guy diner: I don't eat anything that can taste me back.
–Ben's Kosher Deli
Overheard by: Pastrami Girl
Girl diner: You can order a tongue sandwich!
Guy diner: I don't eat anything that can taste me back.
–Ben's Kosher Deli
Overheard by: Pastrami Girl
Conductor: This is the shuttle to Times Square. This is not an express train. You are on the shuttle to Times Square, not an express train. Again, this is the shuttle to Times Square… Not an express train. Shuttle to Times Square…
Random thug: Shut the fuck up!
Conductor: … Not the express train. And for the lovely person who just told me to shut up, I’m in the car right next to you. Merry Christmas to all.
[Short pause.]Conductor: Except to the kid who told me to shut up.
–Shuttle to Times Square
Overheard by: Suburban Liz
Cop holding machine gun: Where you from?
Tourist: England.
Cop (in terrible British accent): Smashing! Brilliant!
Tourist: Um… Yeah.
–City Hall
Guy #1: I have a moral dilemma.
Guy #2: Does it involve alcohol?
Guy #1: No.
Guy #2: Does it require alcohol?
–F Train
Overheard by: Sarah
Girl: … And then she put it in front of me, and I was like, ‘Hello! I hate cottage cheese!’
Queer friend: Oh my god. Cottage cheese is albino diarrhea!
–90th & Broadway
Old woman #1: She’s a loony!
Old woman #2: Maybe she’s going through the change…
Old woman #1: No. She’s a loony.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: JC
Straight guy: Uhm dude, I don't think he's gay.
Queer guy: So what? His fly was open.
–Central Park
Girl #1: I think spring is my favorite season, I mean, it's mating season… but I dunno, I also like the fall.
Girl #2: No, it's true, all creatures mate during spring.
Guy: Yeah. I mean, prom is during spring.
–111th b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Woman #1: I am coming perilously close to dehydration.
Woman #2: Okay. Let's go to Duane Reade.
Woman #1: Okay, but can you buy me a bottle of water? I have no money.
Woman #2: You're walking around with no money? What are going to do if you get robbed?
Woman #1: Give them my credit cards–everyone takes credit.
–Union Square Park
Skanky punk girl: Aren’t you guys a little 5th avenue for this place?…
Girl in scarf, excitedly: Ooooh, we’re 5th avenue?
–MARZ Bar, 2nd Ave & 1st St.
Overheard by: Arthur
