Dramatic chick: You're crazy!
Calm guy: No. That's the problem. You're not crazy.

–4 Train

Customer: Yeah, can I get one for the movie where the girl’s vagina has teeth?
Box office cashier: Sorry, sir, this show’s sold out. The next one’s at 8:25.
Customer: Sold out? How many people actually want to see a movie where a girl’s vagina has teeth?

–City Cinemas, 12th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: SplendidConfusion

Hipster guy: I am always so embittered.
Hipster girl: I know, and I hate it.

–13th & 2nd

Overheard by: Slammy

Bimbette, pointing to menu: How do you pronounce this?
Waitress: It’s called the “Paul Bunyan”.
Bimbette: Is that French?

–High Life Cafe, Upper West Side

Overheard by: EthanK

Preppy girl #1: I don't get it. She looks human.
Preppy girl #2: But she's not.
Preppy girl #1: But she looks human!
Preppy girl #2: But she's not!
Preppy girl #3: I get into your head and make you think I look human, but I'm not, really.
Preppy girl #1: Oh. So what do you guys want for lunch?

–Penn Station

Pampered Tribeca child #1: Daddy! Please!
Pampered Tribeca child #2: Daddy! Please can we have Mediterranean eggplant for dinner??
Nebbishy Tribeca dad: You know I can't eat that! It's a carb!

–7th Ave

Overheard by: Briguy

Girl #1: When she was up on stage, she totally pulled her tampon out and threw it into the crowd.
Girl #2: That’s sick!
Girl #1: I think it’s so cool. I’ve always wanted to do that.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Mike

Insurance guy #1: Man, I love this weather!
Insurance guy #2: Yeah, I love global warming… That’s why I drive an SUV. We’re tropical animals, we’re supposed to be in tropical weather!

–25th St & Madison Ave

Six-year-old kid to lost-looking mother: So, where's downtown?
Mom: Well, it's not uptown!

–42nd Street Subway Station

Overheard by: Excellent deduction, Watson.

Whole Foods employee #1: Yo man, do you know if we have any Kanye pepper?
Whole Foods employee #2: Nah, I think we’re out.

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: Darling Pinky