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Suit on cell: I don’t know much about this party he’s throwing, other than he got me a pregnant stripper.

Del Monte Shopping Center
Monterey, California

Overheard by: Amy

Woman screaming into phone: You need to chill the fuck out!

San Francisco, California

Girl to ex-boyfriend: You're dating someone already?
Guy: Yeah, we're not together anymore. I can date whoever I want!
Girl: So…do you think you'll stay with her for a long time?
Guy: Well, do you plan on breaking up with someone when you start dating them?

Orlando, Florida

Teen girl #1: Ugh, there are so many mosquitoes here.
Teen girl #2: Quick! Get in the sun! They can't bite you if you're in the sun!
Teen girl #1, after pause: Are you thinking of vampires?

Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Isotope Feeney

Undergrad, explaining why he can't answer a question: I'm just tired today. I'm sorry.
Very old professor, non-native English speaker: You are tired?
Student: Yes, I'm sick.
Very old professor: What disease do you have?
Student: I…uh, it's just a cold.
Very old professor: Yes, a cold is not considered disease. You are healthy. You are alive!

Classroom, University of Colorado
Boulder, Colorado

20-something girl: When you go pee first thing in the morning, do you ever make a bunch of noises and you're not sure if they 're coming from your hoo-haw or your ass?
Friend: Umm…no.
20-something girl: Yeah, me neither.

University of Missouri
Columbia, Missouri

Girl #1: How come I always feel drunk whenever you're drunk?
Girl #2: I don't know.
Girl #1: I think we're drunk cycling together!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Girl on phone: Yeah, he couldn’t get it up, so we just watched Schindler’s List instead.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Girl to friend: I know, it'll be so uncomfortable I can't wait! Though if someone licks me this time I'm not gonna be okay with it.

Red Deer
Canadia

Overheard by: Intrigued

Son: But you said I could if we didn't fight.
Mother: No.
Son: But you said I could and we didn't fight.
Mother: Well, you shouldn't have driven me crazy.
Son: But you didn't tell me that!

Lubbock, Texas

Overheard by: Stacy Dollar