Girl #1: And I was like: “How many depressed lab rats do you have to weigh and kill to figure that out?”
Girl #2: What?
Girl #3: 37.5, apparently.

Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota

Woman to boyfriend: Get back here so I can take a picture of you lying to me!

New York City, New York

Overheard by: Trying not to spit soda from my nose

Woman #1: Do you think that he's kind of young for her?
Woman #2: You know, I've realized that age really doesn't matter. I'm dating a baby right now.

Thai Food Restaurant
Sturbridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

Guy with luggage: What’s the temperature tonight?
Guy without luggage: Two.
Guy with luggage: Two? Two! Why the fuck do people live here!?

Brown Line
Chicago, Illinois

Prof, to guy whose ringtone is “Don't Stop Believing”: Aren't you a little young to like that song?

Princeton University
New Jersey

Girl: Yeah, like, the day after I got back I was on St. Laurent Street and I saw a used condom on the sidewalk. It was like the city was saying, ‘Welcome home!’


Child: Mommy, mommy, my hand smells like butt!
Mother: Why does your hand smell like butt, honey?
Child: I put my hand in my butt.

Department Store
Davis, California

Overheard by: Arlene

Overbearing parent to another, watching four-year-old son paint paper entirely red: The color red means stop… (to son) Mix the colors, mix the colors!

Children's Open Art Studio
Oakland, California

Overheard by: lith

Bimbette, pointing to Che Guevara t-shirt: Jose Cuervo!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: SP

Guy #1: Some thieves tried to hot-wire my car at the station yesterday.
Guy #2: Oh my god, really?
Guy #1: Yeah, but they didn't realize that sometimes it only starts in neutral, so they couldn't even get it running. Dickheads.
Guy #2: Haha, it's shitness! It's like an anti-theft device!


Overheard by: Jimmy