Tourist in Vancouver: Where is a neighborhood with lots of bars and cafes?
Vancouverite: The street with all the bars and cafes is…. [then points and gives directions]
Tourist in Vancouver: Where is a neighborhood with lots of bars and cafes?
Vancouverite: The street with all the bars and cafes is…. [then points and gives directions]
Woman: Hey, we should go to Alaska sometime.
Man: Alaska? We can’t even find our way downstairs!
–Eskimo Diorama, American Museum of Natural History
Woman Passenger: How do we get Bowery Street?
Passerby: Fuck you, you fucking clit, I love you!
–Bowery
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Clueless European tourist: Is this the train to, um, men-a-tin?
Loud annoyed New Yorker: Where?
Clueless European tourist, carefully: Man-hat-tan?
Loud annoyed New Yorker: You're in Manhattan already!
Clueless European tourist, looking around confused: Um, downtown?
Loud annoyed New Yorker: That's the only place this train goes. You can't go anywhere else from here!
–A Train, 207th St
Overheard by: The Green Cat
Australian tourist to hobo on bench: Oh, shit, where am I?
Hobo on bench: Welcome to hell, lady.
Australian tourist to hobo: No, mate, I just flew in from there yesterday.
–Central Park
Kindly stranger: Where do you want to go?
Lost couple: The Jersey Gardens outlet mall.
Kindly stranger: Do you want to take the bus?
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Tim
20-something gorgeous gay man wearing tiara: He wouldn't tell me where he was, so then I said “let me smell ya dick!”
20-something drop-dead hot girl: Something's rotten in Denmark.
–Bleecker & W 4th
Latina mother to Asian man, quickly and in Spanish: I'm going to 82nd Street, do I have to get off to switch to a local train?
Asian man: What?
Latina mother, astonished and in perfect English: You don't speak Spanish?
–7 Train
Old man: This is obviously… an important street.
Old woman: It's Broadway.
–Broadway & 54th
Overheard by: glm
Tourists: How do we get to the tour of ground zero?
Security guard: See that window across the street? Go up those stairs and over, and you can look down at it if you want.
–Ground Zero
