Middle-aged shopper: There’s something so disconcerting about being poked in the tits by a kitchen fork.
Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: disgruntled shopgirl
Middle-aged shopper: There’s something so disconcerting about being poked in the tits by a kitchen fork.
Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: disgruntled shopgirl
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we're stopped here because Amtrak's having signal trouble. They're working on the line, but don't know how long it'll take. We could be here five minutes, we could be here fifty minutes.
Loudmouthed commuter: I don't believe this–the same fucking thing happened on Monday!
Even louder commuter: Why the fuck you gotta use language like that?
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, let me remind you it is not the conductors' fault the train is stopped. We want to go home too, and we're stuck here on this train with you.
NJ Transit
Overheard by: Graceful Space
Professor: If you want to get drunk and run around your house naked in your free time that’s your own business, but you’re not going to do that at work when you’re in public.
Metropolitan State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado
Woman in bathroom stall, on cell : … That’s just how it is… No, that’s my pee you’re hearing… Anyways, what did she say? Wait a second, I have to wipe…
Spokane Airport
Spokane, Washington
Overheard by: wish i had held it…
Loud, fat american teen: I have to take the biggest leak ever. Pause. And then I want to check out those hedgehogs.
Market in Freiburg, Germany
Boy, holding bodice-ripper romance novel: Dad, is this a book for fifth-graders?
Distracted father: No. Put it back.
Boy: What is it?
Distracted father: Hardcore pornography. Put it back.
Fairwood, Washington
Overheard by: he was so hopeful
Middle-aged matronly looking woman: Well, while we’re here I can get some of this stocking stuffer shit.
Walgreens
Chicago, Illinois
Guy to friend: My hot sauce packet is talking dirty to me.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Josh
Large black woman on cell: Girl! I’m tellin’ you, I don’t know where I gots them warts on my feets. But they nasty! I don’t want to give them to nobody else, so I brought me some lil’ socks, you know… Them cushy foots? Not like Earl, who goes barefoot all over the city with them mushroom funguses on his toes. His toenails be like baby powder! They all crumbly and shit.
Detroit Metro Airport
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Trying not to barf (and glad I wore socks)
Bro #1: You were about to make fun of a girl who was missing a hand!
Bro #2 (defensively): An arm!
Rogue Valley Mall
Medford, Oregon
