Young boy: Good gracious, I'm high!
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: sjshock
Female Mets fan: I’d let the whole infield fuck me in the ass with no lube if it meant they would win the World Series.
Friend: Classy, Michelle, real classy.
Braves-Mets Game
Queens, New York
Overheard by: aaron
Music History prof taking roll: Jane Smith?
Jane: Here.
Prof: Oh, there you are. I’m just used to seeing you from behind.
Hartford, Connecticut
Teenage thug to passing woman: Hey yo baby! I ain’t gonna lie, I got a big dick!
Hollywood and Highland
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Has that ever worked?
Little girl with mother: My birthday’s coming up soon, so I don’t want to get anything for me.
Woman in opposite aisle: There is no way that child is human.
CVS
Houston, Texas
Nine year-old girl: I want that shirt and you are going to get it for me. Any questions?
Mom: Many. Shut up and put the damn shirt back.
Target
Atlanta, Georgia
Obnoxious 20-something chick: We went to a Yankees game and had the worst seats ever. We didn’t even see Derek Jeter’s ass! … Or anyone’s ass.
IHOP
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Girl: When I see small children, I feel like I owe my mother an apology.
Baltimore, MD
Overheard by: Ren
Tween: I mean, who just calls to say, how are you, I hear you got punched in the face?
Mom: Totally…
San Diego, California
Overheard by: SaraSmile
