Old Brit, pointing to float: Who is that?
Wife: Oh, come on, Bill.
Old Brit: No, really. Is it Joey the Clown or something?
Wife: It’s a symbol of America!
Old Brit: [Confused silence.]Wife: It’s Ronald McDonald!
–Macy’s Parade, Columbus Circle
Old Brit, pointing to float: Who is that?
Wife: Oh, come on, Bill.
Old Brit: No, really. Is it Joey the Clown or something?
Wife: It’s a symbol of America!
Old Brit: [Confused silence.]Wife: It’s Ronald McDonald!
–Macy’s Parade, Columbus Circle
Australian guy: Hey there, mate! I was just wondering if you were hiring staff.
Irish bar man: Yeah, we are, but you will have to speak with the boss. He is gonna be back in about 10 minutes. Do you have any experience?
Australian guy: Well, yeah, I’ve been doin’ this for about three years back home in Sydney.
Irish bar man: That’s great… Sure, I’ll put in a good word for you. I’m getting sick of all the foreigners that they keep hiring.
Headline by: Barry Negrin
Runners-Up:
· “52-Across: “Foreigners” Ans: N-O-N-W-H-I-T-E” – Eddie
· “Between the Long Islanders and the Brooklynites, this place is going to hell” – M.dubz
· “I only hear in black and white” – h
· “I’ll have a shot of contradiction with an irony backer” – LN
· “It’s getting so hard to find people who speak American.” – Noh
· “See? Even THEY Can’t Tell Their Accents Apart!” – Jatmos
· “Will the last American to leave NYC please remember to bring the flag?” – Beth
· “You should have seen this Injun that came in yesterday” – trainedmonkey
Customer: I would like a coffee, a white coffee.
Barista: Excuse me, sir? You’d like…white chocolate in your coffee? We don’t do that.
Customer: Mo, I mean…like a black coffee, but with milk…a white coffee?
Barista: Where are you from, sir?
Customer: Near London, in England.
Barista: That’s the fourth one today, you English are crazy!
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: Adrian
Scantly dressed woman with European accent to big macho American man: I want to, but I do not have Visa!
Big macho American man: I could see if I could sponsor one for you.
–Houston & Mercer
British professor: When I moved from England to the States I was always so surprised to hear people use the phrase, “I feel” this and “I feel” that…
NYU kid: Why?
British professor: Because we don't feel.
–Cantor Film Center, NYU
Businesschick: You have to learn to say no to those aggressive French men!
Businessman: Do I really?
Businesschick: No, I’m just kidding.
–Midtown Office
Dumb blonde girl to guy: Are you from England or is that just a British accent?
British guy: Uh, yeah.
–SoHo Billiards
Overheard by: Cory
Bus Tour ticket lady: Where are you from?
Woman: Italy.
Bus Tour ticket lady: OK, let me go get the guy that speaks French
then.
–46th & Broadway
Overheard by: KJ
Tall guy in crowded silent elevator: Everyone going to the Robert Mann gallery? (after no response, to attractive woman next to him) So, where are you from?
Woman: Rwanda.
Man: Oh, I don't actually know anyone from Rwanda, but I've spoken to some people from there.
Woman, politely: Oh. Where are you from?
Man, ignoring question: So, do you have family back there?
Woman: No, they were all killed in the genocide.
Man: I'm terribly sorry about that. So, what have you come to see?
–Art Building, 11th Ave & 24th St
Overheard by: andrew a
Guy, standing with two women: So of course, now every woman that comes my way is from… (nods, waits for women to finish his sentence)
Women: Newfoundland!
Guy: Right!
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: not a newf
