Ghetto queer, mocking ghetto chick: ‘It’s been so nice seeing you again…’
Ghetto chick: You know, I’ve been friends with him for so long, but something about seeing him today was just so… different. I guess maybe his essence was just too big for a MySpace page.
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Has been waiting for this.
Girl #1: Okay so like, I wasn’t going to tell you guys but Ed* and I really did have sex last night… I was lying on the phone.
Girl #2: But we knew that already! Ed* called me crying this morning because he thought he took advantage of you.
Girl #3: Ok… this is weird.
–9th St & 5th Ave
NYU girl #1: They’re like, ‘Whoa, totally awesome party!’
NYU girl #2: Who says that?
NYU girl #1: I don’t know. I don’t go to parties. I guess that’s what they’d say…
–Hayden Residence Hall, Washington Square West
Girl: Oh my god, I have to tell you something but you cannot, absolutely tell anybody else! You swear?
Queer: Oh my god, yes. I promise it’s just between you, my psychic and my shrink!
–50th & 9th
Man: But I’m just not attracted to you. You’re like a sister to me.
Woman: But I’m not your sister. And besides, you know, me and my sister fooled around when we were little.
Man: Hmmm, let’s see. After this we could go get a drink, or I could go home and think about how much I’m not attracted to you…
Woman: I mean think about it…Hypothetical incest. Predetermined lust, undeformed children.
–Al di La, Park Slope
Lesbian #1: Oh my god, you so don't even have any Republican friends!
Lesbian #2: Yes I do…what about John?
Lesbian #1: He's not your friend. He just flirts with you on Gchat.
Lesbian #2: Oh my god, he so doesn't. He's had a girlfriend for three years. (pause) Plus, he's gay.
–East Village
Ugly skinny girl: I swear to god, if you compare us to The Golden Girls one more time, we're not friends anymore.
Cute fat girl: Okay, fine. (pause) God you can be such a Dorothy sometimes.
–54th & 5th
Yuppie: Today was such an incredible day, I met Richard Branson, and…
Hipster: Who?
Yuppie: Oh, Fabian, that’s why I love you so much.
–Broadway & 28th
Mysterious liquid falls out of the blue sky and lands on three guys walking together.
Dude #1: What the fuck was that?
Dude #2: It smells like bong water! Dude, that is karma getting back at you, and we’re suffering for it, too.
Dude #3: Yeah, Gabe, from now on you walk 20 paces ahead of us.
–Bleecker
Overheard by: Max
Hipster guy #1: You just pimped out your sister?
Hipster guy #2: To my best friend, yeah.
–The Crocodile Lounge, 14th St
