Guy: So after my reading, one of the actors was being all nice to me, and wanting to hang out, whatever. I thought he was just being friendly, but then I found out from my friend that in acting school they tell you to do that.
Girl: Do what?
Guy: You know, hook up with up and coming playwrights and directors, so you have contacts. Come to think of it, all my actor friends started being nicer to me after my reading. You guys should be sucking up, too.
Girl: I like your hair.
–105th & 5th
Chick #1: What’s the deal with Mimi, anyway? She’s been pregnant for a while.
Chick #2: I know. I’m beginning to think she’s just fat.
–Mimi Maternity, 87th & Broadway
Overheard by: Djlindee
Blonde: I hate Anne Rice.
Brunette: Me too! Isn’t she dead?
Blonde: Oh God, no! Remember, she’s writing that Jesus novel?
Brunette: Oh right. For some reason I always think she’s dead.
–The Strand
Overheard by: Sexy Beast
Girl #1: Stop coughing! Who the fuck do you think you are?
Girl #2: John Lennon.
Girl #1: No. You’re not.
–6th Avenue & 11th Street
Girl: Are you mad at me?
Guy: No.
Girl: Are you being sarcastic?
Guy: No.
Girl: Now are you being sarcastic?
Guy: No.
Girl: Now are you being sarcastic?
Guy: Well yeah, now.
–B45 bus
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Lesbian #1: Huh. There seems to be a disproportionate number of queers around here.
Lesbian #2: Darling, we’re on Christopher Street.
–Christopher Street
Boy: Mom, I want gadgets!
Mother: No, Trevor. Not those gadgets.
–Christopher Street
Thug #1: Why would I pay $170 for new Jordans, when I can pay $250 for a pair of Pradas?
Thug #2: I hear dat.
Thug #1: Plus I’m sure to get more ass in Pradas.
–JFK Airtrain
Overheard by: les koh
Latin guy: What are you staring at?
White guy: I can’t get over how beautiful the bartender is. Look at her, she looks like a movie star.
Latin guy: That’s a guy.
White guy: I know.
–The Stonewall, Christopher Street
Chick on cell: Yo, I’m going to that gay parade, those people are doin’ it. Those boys be makin’ each other cum.
–Target, Atlantic Avenue
Chick #1: What is up with that dude?
Chick #2: You mean that little girl over there?
Chick #1: Yeah. Oh, OK.
–Tompkins Square Park
Girl #1: What was that called again?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: You know…it’s pudding with rice in it?
Girl #2: You mean rice pudding?
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Gabby
Skater guy: Fuck, man, this apple juice is damn good.
Skater girl: Apple juice? I always thought that was orange juice.
–31st & 6th
Girl: I’m warning you in advance, way in advance: don’t get too drunk tonight, you always end up with someone bad.
–St. Mark’s Place
Woman: …and now I don’t want to even see his feet much less touch them!
–72nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Nora
JetBlue chick: You can’t be dating him, he looks all dyslexic.
–JFK
Overheard by: Jessica
Chick on cell: …and it’s ironic, but the Museum of Sex was like a bad lay: small, and not performing to my expectations.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Djlindee
Woman: This block has the best garbage!
–2nd Avenue & 8th Street
Girl on cell: We’ve already got plans again for this weekend. I’m really excited about this guy; he’s great. He’s really driven, really ready to succeed. He’s a doctor…No, not in real life, on TV.
–57th & Lexington
Overheard by: Heather
White guy: That wasn’t the best day of my life, though. The best day was the day after my birthday when I recoverd my hard drive.
–Astoria party
Overheard by: Noah Starr
Man on cell: I like them shoes with the ruffle. The ones you wore to the Olive Garden that one time.
–Broadway & Prince
Girl: In theory…I was going to end that sentence with, “the dolphins will be OK.”
–7 train
Overheard by: Amado Angel
Lady: Well, he’s an ex-junkie, an alcoholic, mean-tempered, a practicing bisexual, and he has hepatitus C. But he’s a wonderful man and, as guys like that go, he does have great taste in jewelry.
–Midtown office
