Whiny four-year-old boy: Daaad! I’m bored!
Dad: We came here to be bored.
–Central Park
Whiny four-year-old boy: Daaad! I’m bored!
Dad: We came here to be bored.
–Central Park
Lady: Miss, would you please put that cigarette out?
Little person: Miss, mind your own business.
Lady: Well, I don’t need to breathe that. It’s not good for you.
Little person: Yeah, I hear it stunts your growth.
–Bus stop, Cross Bay Blvd & Liberty Ave
Overheard by: Vinnie
Man #1: I hate long lines.
Man #2: Me, too. Did I tell you the story about how I missed my plane because of the line at Starbucks?
Man #1: No…
Man #2: I missed my fucking plane because of the fucking line at Starbucks.
–Front desk line, Sheraton Hotel
Overheard by: Julia Kriner
Cheese shop girl: ‘I want a hard cheese…’ Ugh! Hard like Parmesan or–
Cheese shop guy: –I fucking hate people who order by texture!
–F station, Bergen St
Overheard by: Maddy
Laughing teen pointing at stranger: My dick all up in this lady’s ass!
–Crowded 3 train, near 96th St
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Conductor: This train is overcrowded due to an earlier incident. Please stand all the way in and clear the doors. If you don’t clear the doors, this train will not move. [At the next stop] This train is overcrowded. Please– Oh, fuck it [doors close].
–Crowded C train
Overheard by: Beth
Man: Damn, it be lookin’ like the welfare line up in here!
–Crowded L train platform, 6th Ave
Conductor: I know it’s crowded, people, but use some common sense! Please don’t hold the doors open with your head!
–1 train
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Hispanic bus driver on loudspeaker: Get in here. On my bus you’re all Mexican! Move it, people!
–Crowded Q66 bus
Overheard by: Empty Refrigerator
Conductor: People, this train is very crowded, so please — when the doors are closing I want you all to inhale.
–Crowded N train
Mom to baby in oversized pram: We’re never gonna get out of here, we’re never gonna get out of here, we’re never gonna get out of here…
–Crowded A train
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Young woman: I hate you. I hope your heart explodes in your chest right now.
Old woman: You’re just saying that because I tried to run you over.
Young woman: You are a terrible mother.
–Bank of America ATM, Broadway
Little kid: It burns! It burns! [Pauses when a lady tells him to be quiet, then] It burns! It burns! It burns!
–Bx9 bus
Overheard by: Krisztina
Thug #1: … And I was like, ‘Damn, baby. I just bought you some pizza, we’re about to see a movie — is it really imperative that I buy you the Justin Timberlake CD so you can listen to it tonight?’
Thug #2: I know what you mean dog. My girl was beggin’ me to buy her that new Akon shit.
Thug #1: Why can’t bitches just be happy?
–116th St station
White nerd in monotone: Look, just because I’m a motherfucking P-I-M-P does not give you the right to kiss up on my women.
Black guy: Fool, don’t be trippin’! You ain’t got but one woman, and she’s fat.
–45th & 9th
Man #1: The only thing I don’t like about the job is all the lying I have to do.
Man #2: Yeah, but you’re a salesman.
Man #1: Yeah, I know.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: daver
