Dude #1: Oh my god, what is that smell?
Dude #2: That’s the smell of wisdom weed. It’s why Rastafarians are so smart.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Sacagawea
Dude #1: Oh my god, what is that smell?
Dude #2: That’s the smell of wisdom weed. It’s why Rastafarians are so smart.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Sacagawea
Guy #1: There’s a laundromat! Should we get off?
Guy #2: No, let’s get off on the way back. Then we’ll be on the right side.
Guy #1: We’re on the right side now.
Guy #2: But there’s no way down to the street on this side.
Guy #1: The stairs are right there.
Guy #2: But they aren’t safe.
–Metro-North
Teen #1: Come on, let me rub it out!
Teen #2: No!
Teen #1: I’m telling you, it works. Let me rub on it!
Teen #2: Get away from me! Dad, tell John* to stay on his side of the train seat!
Teen #1: I’m just trying to rub the tension out of his muscle.
Dad: Okay, boys, stay in your own seats and keep your hands to yourselves. This week’s episode of post-fraternity homoerotic nostalgia is over.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Gay4God
Guy #1: God, this girl is a terrible text messenger. Look at this — it doesn’t make any sense!
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: You love texting, though, right?
Guy #2: Yeah, and it’s only gonna get worse when I get my BlackBerry. I plan to cut off voice communication altogether.
–The Burger Joint
Overheard by: sarah
Dude: I’ll kill you guys if you hack into my wedding website!
–535 8th Ave
Dude #1: Yo, check it out: this chick in the lecture I was just in — huge tits, bro.
Dude #2: Yeah?
Dude #1: Yeah. Fucking bombs.
Dude #2: That’s it? That’s the story? I mean, I like tits, but there’s gotta be a point to a story, man.
Dude #1, after long pause: … Fag.
–Kimmel Center, NYU
Overheard by: that guy
Skater dude #1: At that party some girl, like, totally had her period on my shirt.
Skater dude #2: Yeah, man, I know how that is…
–Union Square
Guy, about honking nearby: Yeah, that’s gonna get traffic moving. You just have to honk harder. [More honking.] Yeah, that’s the spirit.
–Outside Yankee Stadium
Girl: Ugh! Can I hang myself with your tie, please?
Guy: No! I love this tie!
–110th & Manhattan
Overheard by: Chrissy
Headline by: axc
Runners-Up:
· “But Here’s a Shoelace. And a Gun. And Some Pills…” – Laura
· “But I’m So Over This Kitchen Knife…” – Rod W
· “It’s Hard Getting That “Desparate Chick” Smell Out Of Your Laundry” – Dagre
· “It’s Not Like I’m Taking It with Me…” – mo
· “Lives Come and Go, But Argyle Is Forever” – Patrick
· “Use This Noose I Hate.” – pbump
Guy #1: Wait, who here has slept with a drug dealer?
Guy #2: I have.
Guy #3: I have.
Guy #4: I have.
Guy #2: You have not.
Guy #4: Yes, I have — Esther.
Guy #3: Esther’s a drug dealer?
Guy #4: Hells yeah!
–Columbus, between 67th & 68th
