Asian girl: Where do you want to go to college?
Greek girl: Huh, You have pink eye? My brother had that. It’s mad contagious.
–Bronx High School of Science
Asian girl: Where do you want to go to college?
Greek girl: Huh, You have pink eye? My brother had that. It’s mad contagious.
–Bronx High School of Science
Incredibly Jappy woman #1: I’m looking forward to using these bath melts I made.
Incredibly Jappy woman #2: Bath melts?
Incredibly Jappy woman #1: Yeah, I call them bath melts because “bath bombs” really doesn’t seem PC.
–JCC, 76th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Kimberly Ballinger
Guy: My eye won’t stop twitching.
Girl: Maybe you should have thought of that before you wiped sarin on the counter. Oh, oops, I just realized that the subway is a bad place to talk about work.
–E train
Doctor: Well, I can’t guarantee that after the circumcision it will look exactly like what you described.
–New York Presbyterian Hospital
Guy: I need to see a doctor. I’m not dying, but I have a leaking, stinking navel.
–Doctor’s office, 67th & Amsterdam
Kid on stool: Mom, can I jump off and be Naaaaaaacho?
Mom: You already broke your arm. You can’t be Nacho right now.
–Duane Reade, 96th & Broadway
Mom: You see? You almost hit that nice lady. Then she would have sued you and took all your PlayStation games
–N 12th & Bedford, Williamsburg
Overheard by: sonibug13
Mom: No, Cyrus! Don’t touch that! You have ringworm!
–Post office, Upper West Side
Suit on headset: You know, I have been so gassy lately.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: yum
Suit on cell: Hey, I found this guy I thought I’d fix you up with, but I talked to Elliot and he said he wouldn’t cross the street to piss on him, he’s an ethical scumbag… Yeah, I know that’s what everybody says about Elliott.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Ken
Guy #1: My ass is killing me.
Guy #2: Really? Mine feels alright.
Guy #1: Well, you weren’t doing what I was doing all day. It feels like someone ripped my ass off and stapled it back on.
–Paragon Sporting Goods, 17th & Broadway
Overheard by: ericaS
NYU chick: Oh my god, I think it was the worst night of my life. When they found me, I was passed out on the toilet with my pant around my ankles. I’d thrown up into them.
–Attorney & Houston
Biker dude #1: I’m staying at that hotel, down by…93rd and 3rd.
Biker dude #2: Oh yeah?
Biker dude #1: Yeah, that’s where I tried to commit suicide.
Biker dude #2: What do you pay a week down there?
Biker dude #1: I got a good deal going with the guy down there.
–6th Ave & 14th St, Gowanus, Brooklyn
