Hobo: I want to cum on your face.
Young woman: Uhhh… Well, at least he’s being up-front — putting all the cards on the table. I guess I respect that.
–27th & 10th
Overheard by: Julia C
Hobo: I want to cum on your face.
Young woman: Uhhh… Well, at least he’s being up-front — putting all the cards on the table. I guess I respect that.
–27th & 10th
Overheard by: Julia C
Girl watching Oscars: Oh my god, I love Scorsese! He’s so cute. I just want to have him in my pocket.
–10th & 5th
Seven-year-old girl on cell: Oh my gosh, Carrie! In Macy’s my mom just bought me the cutest Coach bag and matching scarf!
–34th St
Overheard by: georgia
Teen girl: Dude, whatever… Some bums are really cute!
–10th & 7th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: oliver
Latino goth muscle-man to girl: I know, but, like, spiritually? Emotionally? I have the cutest, pinkest little vagina [makes triangle formation with fingers over crotch]… And it’s tight.
–F train
Overheard by: meg
Dean of Students’ Services to third year student: You’d make a cute pregnant woman.
–Columbia Law School
Girl: I think having a cunt is cute!
–15th & 6th
Overheard by: Oh my
Bag lady: 54, 55, 56, 57, 58…
Hipster boy running by: 64, 23, 17, 81!
Bag lady: No! Stop it! Stop it! This always happens to me!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Suburban Liz
Hobo: Hello, ladies and gentlemen. I’m sorry to bother you. My name is Jeffrey, and I’m homeless…
Man, mocking: I haven’t eaten in four days…
Hobo: … I haven’t eaten in four days.
Man: That’s my man!
–F train, 23rd St
Hobo: Fucking shit, asshole!
Lady passerby: Watch your mouth! I know you don’t talk to your mama like that!
Entire crowded platform: Oooh!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Charlie
Chick on cell: I don’t remember why he put the phone in the oven… I think it was to prove a point. And my mom didn’t know, so she turned the oven on and then the phone caught on fire.
–NYU trolley
Panhandler: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m not trying to get drugs. I’m not trying to buy alcohol. I’m just trying to survive. It’s a hard life out there trying to sleep, and people always trying to set you on fire.
–F train
Guy with Jamaican accent: Women be causin’ the men to be committin’ adultery. Women be causin’ the men to be lustin’ after the butt. Women need to put their butt back into their pants. Women, you need to cover your butt, or it will be covered in fire.
–4 train
Overheard by: The Cannon
NYU politics professor: … So if you want to stay warm out there, you’re free to burn the flag.
–Silver Center, NYU
Guy sprinting to JAP on cell: Ma’am! You’re on fire! [Guy grabs her Vera Bradley purse, on fire from her cigarette, and throws it savagely to the ground.] I’m sorry, but I had to do that. [JAP stares blankly at him and continues cell conversation.]
–Bobst Library, NYU
Overheard by: J-Steve
Hobo: Excuse me, can you spare me some change?
Woman, pretending in bad Spanish: No hable engles.
Hobo: Shit! I gotta be bilingual to beg?!
–4th St subway station
Overheard by: Jessie
Hobo: Spare a dollar?
B&T chick: Ew, no.
Hobo: … You have nice legs?
B&T chick: Still, no.
–Grand Central
English exchange student: I like New York, but it has just been so cold!
Local student: This is nothing. Where I’m from in Minnesota it’s been 15 below.
English exchange student: Wow! You must not have much of a homeless problem there — they all just die!
–Downtown M4 bus
Hobo: Go shorty, it’s your birthday…
Drunk black woman, joining in: Yeah! Go, go!
Hobo: Shorty, it’s your shorty…
Drunk black woman: You singing it wrong. It’s, ‘We gonna party like it’s your birthday.’
Passerby gives hobo two dollars.
Drunk black woman: You need to give me half of that, I helped you out with the words.
–E train
Overheard by: Ruth
