Guido #1: So what you you think about this new shirt?
Guido #2: It’s fucking great. You should buy another one just like it and throw them both out.
–Hudson Hotel, W. 58th Street
Overheard by: MIchael G
Ditzy girl #1: Wait, tell them how you diet!
Ditzy girl #2: Okay, you'll think I'm a total ano, but… I eat lunch… And drink wine for dinner.
Ditzy girl #3: I think that's totally acceptable!
Ditzy girl #4: Yeah, that's fine!
–Rooftop, Hotel Gansevoort
Boy: Where did Mama go?
Dad: To the ladies’ bathroom. She’s a lady.
Boy: She’s not a lady!
Dad: She’s not?
Boy: No way!
–Waldorf-Astoria men’s room
Short man in glasses, suit, and ankle cast: Hey, I've got some great new music for you.
Tall blonde model: Oh, really?
Short man: Yeah! I've got the new David Guetta album three months before it's supposed to come out. It's got this song with Akon called Sexy Bitch.
Tall blonde model: Wow, cool!
Short man: It's a song about you!
Tall blonde model, genuinely surprised: Tee-hee! Really?
–Hotel down from the rooftop bar at the Gansevoort
Breakfast lady: So it's like me and her have the same health history.
Breakfast parents: Oh, yeah?
Breakfast lady: Yeah, I had just come home from the doctor and I called her, and I was telling her what happened and she goes “oh my god! I have to pass stones, too!” Her doctor said it may be hereditary, though.
–Marriott, Times Square
Crying queer: I just wasted my time and his for five years.
Consoling friend: Don’t have a negative attitude. Never look at a relationship like that. Every relationship, no matter how bad, adds to your life. I feel that with every relationship you always walk away with something. [Queer rolls eyes.] How about all that jewelry?!
–Kittichai Thompson Hotel
Overheard by: Never walked away with anything
Guy #1, wearing American Apparel sweater: Brr.
Guy #2: Man, I freaking hate American Apparel!
Guy #1: Yeah, this sweater's thin as hell!
Guy #2: No, I mean like they're all “American” Apparel” so they can sell to Americans, pretending to be made by Americans. Meanwhile, their clothes are being made in California!
–Elevator, St. George Hotel, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Crazy Person
Guy #1: I got some dirt on my shoulder. Can you brush it off for me?
Guy #2: I ain’t yo’ maid, bitch!
–Hotel, Times Square
Overheard by: Jace
Wife: You're so grim!
Husband: You made me grim.
Wife: Did I make you grim?
Husband: I'm not grim.
–Holiday Inn
Overheard by: The daughter.
Dude #1: That party was fun. It was hot, though.
Dude #2: Yeah, it smelled like hot ass in there.
–Loews Hotel, Lexington & 51st
Guy: Yo, she smelled like dead hell!
–Flatbush
