Smoker, taking drag from cigarette: Yeah, cause, ya know, smoking is really unhealthy.
Smoking friend: Yeah, totally…
–Outside Marriot Marquis
Overheard by: Non-Smoker
Smoker, taking drag from cigarette: Yeah, cause, ya know, smoking is really unhealthy.
Smoking friend: Yeah, totally…
–Outside Marriot Marquis
Overheard by: Non-Smoker
Man arguing with woman: I was single and drunk and shit happened.
–3rd Ave & 13th St
Man to woman: If I wasn't so diabetic I wouldn't have got so drunk.
–14th St & Ave A
Overheard by: S
Enthusiastic 30-something woman: This is a fine time for me to start drinking again!
–Blue Bar, Algonquin Hotel
Overheard by: Terry
Girl to friends: I don't think I'm a whore. It just enhances what you would normally do with less judgment.
–Astoria
Overheard by: The Princess og Fancy
Excited girl: I haven't drunk since the last time we drank!
–1st Ave & 7th St
Overheard by: Erin
Thin, younger sister: What's with all the magazine ads?
Slightly overweight, older sister: It's thinspiration.
Thin, younger sister: I will kill you.
–Lobby, Hampton Inn
Girl to boy: You're just upset that I kicked you out without shoes, and I didn't give you cab fare.
–Black Bear Lodge, 3rd Ave
Guy, after cab splashed water on him: That cab just jizzed on me!
–Broadway & Eagerly
Waspy queer on cell: No, no, take the subway. Just for the experience. Don't take a cab. Cabs are for spoiled people.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl, yelling into window of off-duty taxi: Fine! We're waiting for the cash cab anyway!
–3rd & Sullivan
Overheard by: Heather
Girl #1: It's gonna snow. It'll be fun.
Girl #2: Yeah. (sighs) Wait, you mean “blow,” right?
Girl #1: Uh, no. I mean “snow.”
–Ba, Hudson Hotel, 58th & 8th
Mom on cell: So, she's a drunkard and you're taking her to a wine tasting?
–Park Ave
Overheard by: bad idea
Snooty hipster to girlfriend: This event is missing two things. One is wine and the other is cheese.
–Book Signing, Cobble Hill
Man to woman, looking at a wine list: Sure it's good wine. Brandon buys it by the case and takes it fishing.
–W Hotel Restaurant
Overheard by: Bob Leblaw
Crazy MTA employee lady: If you step over the line you will get a fine! And will not be able to dine on all that boxed wine! The fine, it will not be divine! And then you will whine. So don't step over the yellow line!
–4 Train
Overheard by: also stepped over the line
Mother to small child: Well, the weather's nice today, so it's a good afternoon to go to the park, play on the playground, go on the swings, or attack daddy. (pause) Or…you know, whatever else you feel like doing.
–Gramercy
Overheard by: Max
Fancy woman waking out of building, on cell, during snow squall: It's either snow or debris. I can't tell.
–Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: snow. trust me.
Five-year-old girl: It's snowing way too much in Columbus Circle! Fuck! I am going to file a complaint!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: queenofscots
Older hot guy: It's as cold as a drunken French whore in the old Bastille days!
–W 4th St
Woman to neighbor: Hey, girl, do you see this snow? It's the end of the world!
(pause) Have a great day!
–140th St & Amsterdam
Eight-year-old Russian boy, in Martin Luther King voice: I had a dream, that one day…I pooped. (giggles)
–Q Ttrain
Overheard by: Robert G.
Drunk bro on phone: I know I'm not the guy you fuck in the shower, but can I shit on your chest?
–Fordham University
Woman on cell: There's no law against defecation.
–3rd Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: SophieMed
Man whispering into cell: I'm going to have to take a number two while we're talking.
–Sunshine Suites
Young man on cell: We're in the ticket line. Are you still pooping?
–Castle Clinton
Overheard by: B Fraz
20-something guy to friends: When I poop on something, I want someone to notice!
–Bushwick, Brooklyn
Overheard by: I prefer to flush
Hobo, sticking his face in cab window: Oh shit, it's Charlie's Angels!
Girl inside: Shut the door! Shut the door!
–Outside Gansevoort Hotel
Son, coming out of The Plaza hotel: How come we didn't stay here?
Father: Because that would have been our whole vacation.
–The Plaza Hotel, 5th Ave
Overheard by: Rachel
