(possessed girl walks on hands downstairs during midnight showing of The Excorcist)
Awkward guy to chick he's with: Haha, I almost pissed myself!
(she doesn't respond)
Awkward guy, again: Haha, I almost pissed myself!
Drunk dude: We heard you the first time, buddy!
–Loew Village Theater
Woman: I saw this cute change purse in the store; it was made entirely of zippers. Isn’t that a great idea?
Man: Oh wow…Could you open it?
–Q train
Guy #1, wearing American Apparel sweater: Brr.
Guy #2: Man, I freaking hate American Apparel!
Guy #1: Yeah, this sweater's thin as hell!
Guy #2: No, I mean like they're all “American” Apparel” so they can sell to Americans, pretending to be made by Americans. Meanwhile, their clothes are being made in California!
–Elevator, St. George Hotel, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Crazy Person
Dude: Do you have any matches?
Shop guy: Buddy, this is a health store, I sure hope we don’t have any matches.
Dude: Oh…yeah…I guess you are right.
–Matany Health Food, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Jason B.
Guy: I do know a lot about plastic compounds. I think I could perform basic dentistry. I mean all they do is drill a little and then put some goo in your teeth, right?
–1/9 train
Overheard by: Jason Strom
(Another reader overheard it a little differently.)
Dude: You know what I realized? Everything I need to know or see, I get from Wikipedia, YouTube or Urban Dictionary.
Philosopher: Yes, for they form the triangle of knowledge, first envisioned by the Incas. But once their triangle of knowledge gained too much power, it destroyed their civilization, and that is how one of the great civilizations of old fell.
Dude: … Damn, man, you always make shit deep.
–Q65A bus
NYU chick as “Back in the USSR” plays: Why are they playing so much 80s music?
NYU dude: It's cool, it's The Beatles.
NYU chick: Such a weird song, like Russia's all great or something.
NYU dude: I think it's supposed to be ironic.
–Bleecker & Broadway
Woman #1: Do you think squirrels get addicted to nicotine?
Woman #2: Oh my God! I feel so bad for them. I mean they must, right? What with all the cigarette butts they eat.
–6 train
Woman: He’s not getting a new cell phone until the technology improves.
Man: Oh yeah, well I’m not commuting to work anymore until I get my flying car!
–Public Theater, Lafayette Street
Overheard by: Sean McArdle
Chick #1: I think Moron Titty is a great code name. Like, if you go into the CIA? I think you should be Agent Moron Titty.
Chick #2: Yeah, my nipples have an I.Q. of, like, 75.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: djlindee
