Guy #1: … Wop.
Girl: You know, ‘wop’ means ‘Polish.’
Guy #2: No, it doesn’t. It means ‘White Anglo-Saxon Protestant.’
–Elevator, 630 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Ann
Guy #1: … Wop.
Girl: You know, ‘wop’ means ‘Polish.’
Guy #2: No, it doesn’t. It means ‘White Anglo-Saxon Protestant.’
–Elevator, 630 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Ann
Distraught girlfriend: Excuse me, do you have an inhaler? My boyfriend is having a severe asthma attack!
Teen chick passerby: Oh my god! Here, take my breath spray!
–Central Park
Guy: No, Tourettes have it better.
Girl: Yeah, they just spaz out.
–F train
Overheard by: Suriya Schmidt
Dude #1: Dude, I can’t believe it’s going to be like fucking minus eight tomorrow!
Dude #2: Shit. Isn’t freezing, like, 32?
Dude #1: Damn. That means it’s actually going to be like minus 40, right?
Dude #2: Yeah.
–Columbia University
Meathead #1: Yeah, I definitely think I should go to the interview hung over.
Meathead #2: Why’s that?
Meathead #1: You know, so I’m more charming and likable.
Both meatheads: Definitely!
–6th St & Ave A
Overheard by: my approach is all wrong
Yuppie girl: Sometimes I feel like it would be fun to live in the projects.
Yuppie guy: Uh, why?
Yuppie girl: Everybody knows each other — it’s like summer camp.
Yuppie guy: But they shoot each other.
Yuppie girl: Yeah — summer camp, but with guns.
–99th & 3rd
Overheard by: Dan
Woman: I’m going to get some water.
Friend, pointing to basket of water bottles: How about this?
Woman: No, I don’t like that water. It’s too watery. I like Poland Spring.
–Starbucks, 43rd & 8th
College guy #1: Okay, we need to go to the grocery store.
College guy #2: But that’s so boring! How am I going to update my Facebook status? Drew* is shopping for groceries? That is so lame!
College guy #1: Dude, you really can’t live your life based on an imagined Facebook profile status. It’s just not healthy.
–116th & Broadway
Suit: I was up in Toronto last week. It was nice, but it was really cold.
Guy: Yeah, it’s beautiful up there, but they get winter really early. It’s like that Shakespeare line, ‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.’
Suit: [Befuddled silence.]
–LIRR into Penn Station
Overheard by: It was Dickens, DickWad
Mom: … But it was hopeless. But I was stuck there, like a little Dutch boy with my finger in a dike for two hours.
Daughter: Huh? Like, a girl?
–Basement of the MoMA
