Girl #1: My grandma is coming into the city Saturday to bleach my cat.
Girl #2: Bleach your cat?
Girl #1: Yeah, he got into the flowers and the pollen turned him canary yellow.
Girl #2: Bleach your cat?
Girl #1: Well, it didn’t come off in the bath…
–82nd & Madison
Ghetto mama #1: Yeah, I get him ready for bed, and then he starts cryin’ and shit.
Ghetto mama #2: Girl, you give that baby some NyQuil before you put him to bed and he will be good to go.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Dude #1: That restaurant across the street must be amazing. There’s always a crowd outside. Is it really that good?
Dude #2: No. It’s a bus stop.
–65th & Central Park West
Tourist man: Hey, look at this! They’re selling this stuff out on the street!
Tourist lady with thick accent: They have no doors! The rodents will steal all their bread!
Store owner: This is not a bread store, ma’am!
Tourist lady: They will steal your bread! The rodents will steal your bread!
Store owner: We have no bread here!
–Canal St
Clerk: What’s that symbol on your shirt?
Chick: It says ‘Nepal.’
Clerk: What’s Nepal?
Chick: It’s where the Dalai Lama lives.
Clerk: What’s the Dalai Lama? Is that an animal?
Chick: Yeah, it’s like a Yeti.
Clerk: Oh.
–Pelham Pkwy
Overheard by: raginggoatboy
Dude: So, I saw this girl yesterday who had the most beautiful nose…
Chick: Really?
Dude: Yeah, I’ve had dreams about this same nose since 1986. I never thought it would happen, but I’m so glad it did.
Chick: Wow. What did she look like?
Dude: I don’t know. I didn’t get a good look at her face.
–G train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Via
NYU guy #1: Do you think the Greeks waxed?
NYU guy #2: What?
NYU guy #1: I mean, they always look so smooth in those statues.
–Lafayette & Walker
Overheard by: Chris
Redhead: … And he’s been bottling this all up and I guess my freak-out just pushed him over the edge.
Blonde: Yeah, totally. Like the straw that tipped the camel over…
–Haru, 18th & Park
Anorexic wannabe #1: Ugh, no, ugh… It smells like salt in here! And fat!
Anorexic wannabe #2: Let’s get out of here.
–Chelsea Market, Bowery Kitchen
Overheard by: Rev
Chick: Are you chewing gum?
Dude: Yeah…
Chick: Take that out of your mouth. I hear that you get cancer by chewing gum while smoking.
–W 4th St
