Guy #1: I mean, who is impressed by knowing all the state capitals? That’s easy. I can name every state capital.
Guy #2: Vermont.
Guy #1: Huh?
Guy #2: What’s the capital of Vermont?
Guy #1: That’s not a state.
–N train
Overheard by: JY
Guy #1: I mean, who is impressed by knowing all the state capitals? That’s easy. I can name every state capital.
Guy #2: Vermont.
Guy #1: Huh?
Guy #2: What’s the capital of Vermont?
Guy #1: That’s not a state.
–N train
Overheard by: JY
Woman #1: You know, everytime I go return a book, they make me pay money, I have no idea why.
Woman #2: Me too! Last time I paid two dollars.
Woman #1: I should stop going and just donate my money somewhere else.
–Flushing
Overheard by: why don’t you try returning them on time
Bimbette #1: I swear, her apartment has the best view in the whole city.
Bimbette #2: Really? What’s the view of?
Bimbette #1: You can see the Empire State Building and, uh, that other building. It’s really great.
Bimbette #2: When were you there?
Bimbette #1: I wasn’t, she just told me about it.
–STK, Little West 12th St
Overheard by: I’m convinced
Punk: How long have you had them?
Queer with three Greyhounds: Oh different times. They all come from abusive breeders and abusive owners and we take them in.
Punk: They’re so beautiful. I’d totally abuse them.
–9th St, between 1St & A Ave
Girl: Ok, let’s name some idioms.
Guy: I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you go first.
Girl: Ok. ‘Hit the hay.’
Guy: ‘Suck the dick.’
Girl: Ummm…
–114th St & Broadway
JAP #1: Oh god, it’s so funny sometimes to start a sentence with, "But I have a brain tumor!"
JAP #2: That’s so not funny.
JAP #1: But I do have a brain tumor! See? So funny!
–2 train
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Conductor: Next stop, 110th. This one goes to Van Cortlandt.
Tourette’s man: I know, you fuck! Stop yelling at me!
–1 train
Sketchy Guy in trenchcoat: Hey, you ladies want some juice?
Girl #1: Oh my god! He just tried to sell me drugs! One day in New York, and some guy tries to sell me drugs. This is awesome!!
Girl #2: Baby, I think he’s coming on to you.
Girl #1: Oh, you sick bastard!
–43rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Angie
Dude #1: If I was the last man on earth, I would die of exhaustion from banging too much!
Dude #2: If I was the last man on earth, I’d die of AIDS from banging too much.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Rich
Headline by: Syd O
Runners-Up:
· “And his guidance counselor said he wasn’t goal oriented…” – Marc
· “Apparently the apocalypse is a lot like New York in the 80s.” – julian
· “But as long as there’s even one other man left, they’re both safe” – Not buying it
· “Either Way, He’d Be Fucked!” – Hobo Whisperer
· “How is that any different then now.” – Kaleena
· “If you were the last man on earth, we’d all be lesbians” – Tam
· “If I’m goin’ everyone else is coming with me” – Botticus
· “If you were the last man on earth, I’d die from banging my head against a wall” – Becky
· “It’s a catch simplex 2.” – Vin
· “Oh yeah? If I were the last man on Earth, I’d die of whatever killed the other guys!” – Chris
· “Only After All the Batteries Are Gone” – Lush
· “The Planet Of All Women Drivers, I Know How I Would Die” – berger inferno
Blonde girl: But he’s in a relationship…
Brunette girl: This is how I feel about the whole girlfriend thing. The way I see it, everyone’s fair game as long as the girl isn’t one of your friends and you don’t get too attached. That’s really the only problem. Well, that and AIDS… But not many people have aids.
–E train at the World Trade Center station
Overheard by: ginalori
