Kid #1, bouncing basketball on the sidewalk: Jesus was like: “Go back to earth and suffer… Or your ass is going to hell.”
Kid #2: Yeah…
–Bushwick Ave & Meserole St, East Williamsburg
Kid #1, bouncing basketball on the sidewalk: Jesus was like: “Go back to earth and suffer… Or your ass is going to hell.”
Kid #2: Yeah…
–Bushwick Ave & Meserole St, East Williamsburg
10-year-old white boy: Mom, you know what I'm wondering?
Mom: No, what?
10-year-old: What does “shish kanish” mean?
Mom, staring at him: What the hell are you talking about?
10-year-old: In that song by Shakira it says she makes a man wanna “shish kanish.”
Mom, shaking head: “Speak Spanish,” Cory. She made a man wanna speak Spanish. Shit, you ain't never gonna be a singer.
–Tenement Museum
Overheard by: Excuse me while I kiss this guy
Girl #1: I will kill all of your firstborns!
Girl #2: All of them?
–Megabus, Penn Station
Overheard by: Lisa
Confused little boy looking at dozens of Santas in Santacon: I thought there is only one Santa Claus.
Mother: Those are Santa’s helpers. Santa can’t do everything by himself.
Little boy: But why are they dressed like Santa?
Mother, exasperated: I don’t know.
–3 train, Times Square
Overheard by: Eric Kuo
Little kid: Hey, mom! Check it out! (chokes himself with own hands)
Mom: Oh, don't do that, honey, you'll damage your brain!
–State St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ben
Little boy: But how do I know you’re not part of the Martian menace?
Dad, deadpan: You don’t.
–110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Alexandra
Eight-year-old to dad: Give me another acting exercise!
Dad: Try acting not weird.
–46th St b/w 8th & 9th
Overheard by: Serena
Seven-year-old boy (spelling everything he says): D-a-d-c-a-n-I-h-a-v-e-a-d-o-g?
Dad: N-o-t-n-o-w.
Seven-year-old boy: Shut yo’ mouth!
–Uptown 6 Train
Catholic schoolgirl: This bitch said she didn’t go to the bank! She said last week she was going to pay me and didn’t — mind you, I lent her the money a month ago. This bitch got a gambling problem.
Catholic schoolboy: Damn.
Catholic schoolgirl: Watch — next time I’ma be like, ‘Mom I want my money.’
–6 train
Overheard by: Frais
