So Now We Hate Her, Right?

Preteen #1: Oh my god, I’m wearing pink underwear today.
Preteen #2: Really? Remember that time I wore that pink dress?
Preteen #1: Yeah, but I mean, like, Victoria’s Secret-pink.
Preteen #2: Oh, right, I love those.
Preteen #1, after a beat: Hey, do you like eggs?
Preteen #2: Um, of course I do. Who doesn’t like eggs?
Preteen #1: My friend hates eggs.
Preteen #2: Oh my god, no way.
Preteen #1: Yeah, but she likes cheese. It’s okay.
Preteen #2: Oh, okay. That’s good.
Preteen #1: Yeah. She likes both kinds of cheese.
Preteen #2: Ew, I only like that one kind.

–Fitting room, Macy’s

Overheard by: awkward annie

Posted on August 23, 2017
Fashion, Food, Kids, Store

Never Let That Stop You Before

Student: Once at the restaurant I saw a guy take a picture of one the kids with his camera phone. And I had no idea what to do…
Professor: Well, I can't talk about that with you because… That's weird.

–Pratt Institute

Posted on August 17, 2017
Cell Phone, College, Kids, Pictures, Students, Teachers/Professors, Weirdness

No Wednesday One-Liners in the Champagne Room

Soccer mom: In two weeks, my knitting circle’s going to the strip club.

–28th & Lex

Girl: I want to become a stripper so that I can see Patti LuPone in Gypsy every night.

–St. James Theatre

Overheard by: Erin

Loud NYU chick: Listen to the opening guitar riff of Voodoo child. It makes you want to be a stripper!

–Bobst Library

Overheard by: evil em

Six-year-old boy to parents: Oohh! Zombie strippers! Let’s see that!

–Port Authority

Posted on August 5, 2017
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Library, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Music, NYU, Offers and requests, Port Authority, Strippers, Theater & Dance, Washington Square Park, Wishes & desires

Children Shouldn’t Be Kicked at All

Girl #1: You want to hear something crazy? My sister, you know she’s pregnant with her second kid, right? The baby’s due date is the same exact day as her first kid’s birthday.
Girl #2: That’s so crazy. Maybe they only kick it once a year.

–6 train

Posted on July 23, 2017
Babies, Girls, Kids, On the Subway, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

And Then He Gave Us Candy

Kid #1, bouncing basketball on the sidewalk: Jesus was like: “Go back to earth and suffer… Or your ass is going to hell.”
Kid #2: Yeah…

–Bushwick Ave & Meserole St, East Williamsburg

Posted on July 12, 2017
Boys, Default, Jesus, Kids, Offers and requests, Threats, Williamsburg

Shish Kanish Is That Falafel Place Over on Third

10-year-old white boy: Mom, you know what I'm wondering?
Mom: No, what?
10-year-old: What does “shish kanish” mean?
Mom, staring at him: What the hell are you talking about?
10-year-old: In that song by Shakira it says she makes a man wanna “shish kanish.”
Mom, shaking head: “Speak Spanish,” Cory. She made a man wanna speak Spanish. Shit, you ain't never gonna be a singer.

–Tenement Museum

Overheard by: Excuse me while I kiss this guy

Posted on July 7, 2017
Kids, Languages, Moms, More museums, Music, Parents, Questions, White People, Words

When Rabbits Threaten Blackmail.

Girl #1: I will kill all of your firstborns!
Girl #2: All of them?

–Megabus, Penn Station

Overheard by: Lisa

Posted on July 1, 2017
Family Ties, Girls, Kids, Murder, On the Bus, Penn Station, Threats

To Confuse Assassins

Confused little boy looking at dozens of Santas in Santacon: I thought there is only one Santa Claus.
Mother: Those are Santa’s helpers. Santa can’t do everything by himself.
Little boy: But why are they dressed like Santa?
Mother, exasperated: I don’t know.

–3 train, Times Square

Overheard by: Eric Kuo