Dad: Wow! Look at all these paintings! Right here in the open, even if it rains. Pretty cool, huh?
Eight-year-old: I want my ice cream. You said I could have ice cream.
–Governors Island
Dad: Wow! Look at all these paintings! Right here in the open, even if it rains. Pretty cool, huh?
Eight-year-old: I want my ice cream. You said I could have ice cream.
–Governors Island
Very heavy ten-year-old boy, yelling excitedly: I heard they have bacon flavored popcorn in Florida! I love the south!
–Flushing, Queens
Hipster girl on cell: The entire state of Mississippi isn't a complete waste of space, even though it seems like it right now.
–Atlantic & Smith, Brooklyn Heights
Wino, grabbing can of beer: Here's 15 cents. I'll get the rest of it for you today. I promise! I'm from Georgia, I know how this shit works!
–Deli at 33rd & 7th
Overheard by: EthanK
Loud girl to friend: Maria? Maria's not dead, Maria's in Virginia?
–BxM10 Bus
Overheard by: bxgirl
Girl to boyfriend: I mean, when someone says they're throwing an "Iowa State Fair"-themed wedding, you don't think twice about going!
–30th Ave, Astoria
Little blond boy pointing to graffiti on bus seat: What does that say?
Mom: I don’t know… It was written by someone with really bad handwriting.
–72nd Crosstown bus
Guy #1: Hey… Ummm, by any chance did you get some sort of invitation in the mail from Jerry and Marcia?
Guy #2: I know! Who the fuck gets their 13-year-old circumcised in front of public masses like that?
–14th & 7th
Preteen #1: Oh my god, I’m wearing pink underwear today.
Preteen #2: Really? Remember that time I wore that pink dress?
Preteen #1: Yeah, but I mean, like, Victoria’s Secret-pink.
Preteen #2: Oh, right, I love those.
Preteen #1, after a beat: Hey, do you like eggs?
Preteen #2: Um, of course I do. Who doesn’t like eggs?
Preteen #1: My friend hates eggs.
Preteen #2: Oh my god, no way.
Preteen #1: Yeah, but she likes cheese. It’s okay.
Preteen #2: Oh, okay. That’s good.
Preteen #1: Yeah. She likes both kinds of cheese.
Preteen #2: Ew, I only like that one kind.
–Fitting room, Macy’s
Overheard by: awkward annie
Student: Once at the restaurant I saw a guy take a picture of one the kids with his camera phone. And I had no idea what to do…
Professor: Well, I can't talk about that with you because… That's weird.
–Pratt Institute
Soccer mom: In two weeks, my knitting circle’s going to the strip club.
–28th & Lex
Girl: I want to become a stripper so that I can see Patti LuPone in Gypsy every night.
–St. James Theatre
Overheard by: Erin
Loud NYU chick: Listen to the opening guitar riff of Voodoo child. It makes you want to be a stripper!
–Bobst Library
Overheard by: evil em
Six-year-old boy to parents: Oohh! Zombie strippers! Let’s see that!
–Port Authority
Girl #1: You want to hear something crazy? My sister, you know she’s pregnant with her second kid, right? The baby’s due date is the same exact day as her first kid’s birthday.
Girl #2: That’s so crazy. Maybe they only kick it once a year.
–6 train
Kid #1, bouncing basketball on the sidewalk: Jesus was like: “Go back to earth and suffer… Or your ass is going to hell.”
Kid #2: Yeah…
–Bushwick Ave & Meserole St, East Williamsburg
10-year-old white boy: Mom, you know what I'm wondering?
Mom: No, what?
10-year-old: What does “shish kanish” mean?
Mom, staring at him: What the hell are you talking about?
10-year-old: In that song by Shakira it says she makes a man wanna “shish kanish.”
Mom, shaking head: “Speak Spanish,” Cory. She made a man wanna speak Spanish. Shit, you ain't never gonna be a singer.
–Tenement Museum
Overheard by: Excuse me while I kiss this guy
