Mom, reading about unicorns to ten-year-old son: The unicorn was a symbol of Christ, its head in the virgin Mary’s lap…
Son: Wait, wait, wait! Mary was a virgin?!
–Museum of Natural History, Mythic Creatures Exhibit
Mom, reading about unicorns to ten-year-old son: The unicorn was a symbol of Christ, its head in the virgin Mary’s lap…
Son: Wait, wait, wait! Mary was a virgin?!
–Museum of Natural History, Mythic Creatures Exhibit
Soccer fan #1, disturbed by screaming children while watching World Cup: Where the hell did all these kids come from?
Soccer fan #2, still watching screen: My guess is various wombs.
–Sports Bar, Red Hook
Overheard by: KP Whitey
Little boy #1: Nudists are rich!
Little boy #2: Really? Why?
Little boy #1: They don’t have to buy clothes!
–17th & 3rd
Girl walking down the street: Why do I feel so full?
Little kid: Cause you're drunk!
–Bleecker St, West Village
Overheard by: Diva
Little white boy: Will someone tell him that the Indians were playing the Yankees the other day!!?
Little Indian boy: Will someone tell him that Indians don’t play baseball? I should know, I’m Indian!
–2 train
Little boy to dad: Does the Statue of Liberty have a claw?
–Battery Park
Little boy to mother: Will you hurry up? You're slower than my aunt Jebediah in the bathtub!
–Clark St, Brooklyn
Four-year-old boy to mother: And then you fed me…from your belly button!
–Old Navy Store
Overheard by: Joyfully Yours
Little boy playing with friend: Buenos dias, reptile!
–Astoria Park
Overheard by: Julie & Zane
Blond six-year-old, looking at father's New Yorker magazine: What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell?
–Doma Cafe
Seven-year-old with Spiderman backpack: Dad, have I lost my youth?
–1 Train
Little girl with pigtails, running to sit with family: We're going to the dark side!
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Little girl: I have those shoes!
Queer: Oh my God! Get out of my town! That’s so cool!
–14th street A/C/E station
Five-year-old boy, crowded around his mothers’ blackberry with younger sisters: 5… 4… 3… 2… 1! Mommy… time’s up!
Mother, who had been rushing around the sale room with just one item: [Ddisappointed] Okay, okay. I guess I’ll just take this one sweater…
–Anthropologie
Overheard by: amused shopper
Guy to female friend: There's a guy in the Howard Street festival that ejaculates like 20 feet.
–E 3rd St & 1st Ave
Guy: The world is my cumrag!
–4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Jordan Bruce
Woman on cell: Yeah, it was great. We managed to buy enough sperm for three kids.
–32nd & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Matt
Intoxicated college boy to friend: I don't want to jism on a girl's back…yet.
–Times Square
Overheard by: watching her back
Suit getting off train, turning around and yelling: Was it semen? (waves goodbye)
–1 Train
Overheard by: hsw
Student: But if little kids are rude it’s not really their fault…
Teacher: Yes it is. [Grins.] That’s why I ate my children.
–English Class, Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: Lillian
